You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.

For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'