You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs.

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math.