Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
Tom Lehrer
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People wince when something is in bad taste. They laugh when it's funny. If it's too dirty o...
MICHAEL PATRICK KING If you don't know Tom Lehrer, you should - in addition to being a classical pianist, mathematici...
RACHEL SKLAR Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, tha...
NORM MACDONALD What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh no...
CHEVY CHASE One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it?
TOM BAKER It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-de...
VINCE VAUGHN I like the anonymity, the fact that you're a stranger making strangers laugh. You aren't for...
TREVOR NOAH If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are goi...
LEO HOWARD The whole point about laughter is it's like mercury: you can't catch it, you can't catch...
MIKE NICHOLS Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
TAYLOR HAWKINS Life is so funny, that you can't even laugh logically.
Logically the tears should follow the laughte...
EMRON MUSAVI Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.
LEWIS CARROLL I think laughter is the best medicine. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you can't laugh ...
DAVID HASSELHOFF If you did not laugh at least 3 times in a day, then you have missed the best part of your day
SOTONYE ANGA Humor keeps the elderly rolling along, singing a song. When you laugh, its an involuntary explosio...
MEL BROOKS There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you...
JEFF GARLIN If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possi...
MAYA ANGELOU If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.
KATE O'BRIEN If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an...
BILL COSBY Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.
JAMES LIPTON If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilario...
CAITLIN HALE I know it's corny, but laughter is a two-way gift, and hearing people laugh just warms me throug...
ANDY DICK It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and impr...
ABEL FERRARA Humor keeps the elderly rolling along, singing a song. When you laugh, it’s an involuntary explosi...
MEL BROOKS It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.
TRACEY ULLMAN With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug...
BROOKE NEVIN Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree ...
ARTIE LANGE I try to find a reason to laugh each day. Somehow, if you can incorporate laughter into your day, ev...
FAITH HILL Give yourself a laugh treat
SOTONYE ANGA The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter hea...
MIMI KENNEDY How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's ...
LES DAWSON All preconceptions when you laugh go out the window. Laughter kills it.
CHEVY CHASE If it gets laughs, it's funny.
RACHEL DRATCH There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothi...
J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary
MARK TWAIN As an actor you get categorized by other people, but it's not like I arrange myself into comedy ...
SOPHIE THOMPSON If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned ...
PAUL MERTON Anything is possible with laughter. If you can laugh out loud, especially at a life of mistakes, you...
JULIEANNE O'CONNOR It's funny because it's funny.
DAVID SPADE I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laug...
YVETTE NICOLE BROWN It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think...
PAUL GIAMATTI I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. ...
CHARLOTTE DUJARDIN Being funny has always mattered a lot to me. It's why I started acting - to make my friends laug...
NICK WECHSLER It's great if you're funny or if you can dance, but if you are kind and decent, it comes out...
YVETTE NICOLE BROWN I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's ...
DYLAN MORAN The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There...
STEPHEN COLBERT The truth of it is that people are not going to want to go to improvisational theater if it's no...
CHRISTOPHER GUEST Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, a...
ERIC IDLE If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.
SETH MACFARLANE Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a ban...
SHAH RUKH KHAN I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you f...
BILL ENGVALL It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN Oh, I laugh hard every day. I mean, my husband is Will Smith! I'm telling you, that's one of...
JADA PINKETT SMITH The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it.
SARA BLAKELY It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women ...
RAINBOW ROWELL I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it...
MALIN AKERMAN That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him ...
ALAN VEGA It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
ADLAI E. STEVENSON I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny becau...
GREG BEHRENDT The way you deal with a scare is the way you deal with a laugh. The timing has to be perfect. When y...
PATRICK WILSON When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We ...
MITCHELL HURWITZ Laughter is really a gift. It's the most vulnerable state you can be in.
DAVID DOBKIN My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to...
BILL BURR I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs ...
PAUL LYNDE All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jo...
DREW FULLER Writing songs and looking for ideas is like blinking my eyes. It's an involuntary muscle. I do i...
TOBY KEITH Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j...
ELLEN DEGENERES Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how t...
PATRICE O'NEAL It's funny, everything is so much easier when you do it yourself.
CARINE ROITFELD Being able to laugh at a situation can help you hang on to your perspective. And there's an inti...
ERIC MABIUS I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolut...
ROBERT MANKOFF Time will mellow it, make it a moment for laughter. But now it was not funny, now I did not laugh. I...
DAPHNE DU MAURIER It's not like every male comic you meet is funny. Like, a lot of them are not funny.
ERIK GRIFFIN Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the phrase 'making people l...
GILDA RADNER It's funny where life can take you.
KATHLEEN KENNEDY I like playing with that space between laughter and discomfort where your discomfort can also make y...
HARI KONDABOLU I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the...
STEVE MARTIN If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK Laughter is God's blessing.
JOSEPH PRINCE The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find ...
J. K. ROWLING With comedy, it's really hard to tell if something's working on the page - you really need t...
MAGGIE CAREY It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get...
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the peop...
AL JOLSON I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.
GENE WILDER If you can have a laugh with someone, you're then in each other's world.
CASEY WILSON I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's no...
JOE BIDEN That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awk...
PSY It's funny, because if Tom Petty or R.E.M. came out today, they'd be alt-country,
RHETT MILLER Life is never all one thing. It bounces around. Certainly, my own life has. Look at Woody Allen'...
TIM O'BRIEN The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very f...
ROALD DAHL It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is fu...
DAVID CROSS It's good just to laugh sometimes, and if it comes out of some truth, it's even stronger.
RANDEE HELLER I would get my laugh insured! Because my laugh is very important: it's a million dollar laugh, s...
KENDRA WILKINSON When you need a good laugh, do you reach for a book? I don't. I expect books to move me deeply a...
MARIA SEMPLE I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you...
BEN STILLER
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TOM LEHRER I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
TOM LEHRER Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize.
TOM LEHRER Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.
TOM LEHRER Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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TOM LEHRER The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky...
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TOM LEHRER It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.
TOM LEHRER Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in...
TOM LEHRER Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
TOM LEHRER "Brush your teeth with the best toothpaste,
Then rinse your mouth with industrial waste".
TOM LEHRER Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jock...
TOM LEHRER Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
TOM LEHRER An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.
TOM LEHRER If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared not only to retract it, but also to den...
TOM LEHRER Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers
TOM LEHRER I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of ...
TOM LEHRER On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about ...
TOM LEHRER It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
TOM LEHRER In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl'
TOM LEHRER I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't tha...
TOM LEHRER I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audienc...
TOM LEHRER The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrim...
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TOM LEHRER Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs.
TOM LEHRER You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.
TOM LEHRER A debate has one purpose, one purpose only, and that is to facilitate the exchange of ideas directly...
JIM LEHRER I wanted to be a bus driver when I was a kid. I look at bus driving through the eyes of a little boy...
JIM LEHRER You grew up in Germany during a terrible time. We not only see in you the head of the Catholic Churc...
ABRAHAM LEHRER The Vatican should now open its archives.
ABRAHAM LEHRER We will not mention this story to the pope today.
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ABRAHAM LEHRER It is for us and for all Jews around the world a truly great event. We are very excited and full of ...
ABRAHAM LEHRER There's only one interview technique that matters... Do your homework so you can listen to the a...
JIM LEHRER There's always a germ of truth in just about everything.
JIM LEHRER People can get their news any way they want. What I love about what's happened is that there are...
JIM LEHRER I'm an expert on the NewsHour and it isn't how I practice journalism. I am not involved in t...
JIM LEHRER If you go to the ball game, you don't need to read the game story.
JIM LEHRER If people want bells and whistles and all of that, there are bells and whistles available. If they d...
JIM LEHRER You want to see an angry person? Let me hear a cell phone go off.
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TOM TOM During times of hardship people find happiness in simplest pleasures
TOM TOM Am I good enough?
Trust.
TOM The demons you have are what motivate you to make your art. This is what drives the detective, this ...
TOM REISS Really, coaching is simplicity. It's getting players to play better than they think that they ca...
TOM LANDRY There's this misconception that the Navy is this cruise ship, and you get to go out and sail aro...
TOM HANKS Talk is over-rated as a means of settling disputes.
TOM CRUISE Nothing ends nicely, that's why it ends.
TOM CRUISE Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomo...
TOM CRUISE When I first started out all the attention could be a bit unnerving, especially when people stared. ...
TOM CRUISE I've spent many birthdays on a movie set, all great days.
TOM CRUISE I've always had the same values. Family for me has always been important. When I shoot, everybod...
TOM CRUISE When I'm promoting a film, I'm not going to get caught up in anything else, and that include...
TOM CRUISE Whether it's making a film or raising my children, personally I'm striving to do the right t...
TOM CRUISE I like to work with people that I like hanging out with, that I admire, that are really smart and ta...
TOM CRUISE If I don't talk about my religion, if I say I'm not discussing it or different humanitarian ...
TOM CRUISE Saddam has committed many crimes against humanity and against his own people.
TOM CRUISE What I find sometimes that is tricky is if actors are using too much of their own life in a picture,...
TOM CRUISE I'm always around my mother and sisters. I always wanted to be a father, a husband.
TOM CRUISE As a young actor, people were trying to define who I was before I really knew that for myself. But I...
TOM CRUISE The thing about film-making is I give it everything, that's why I work so hard. I always tell yo...
TOM CRUISE The exciting part of acting, I don't know how else to explain it, are those moments when you sur...
TOM CRUISE I've never made a film that I didn't believe in, you know? However the picture turns out, I&...
TOM CRUISE I didn't become an actor to have power, but it just happens that I have it and so I have a lot o...
TOM CRUISE I've never done work for money ever. If your choices are based on grosses and the film doesn'...
TOM CRUISE Do I make mistakes? Yeah.
TOM CRUISE I've learned to relax more. Everybody feels pressure in what they do, maybe mine is just a littl...
TOM CRUISE I go without sleep, I just go hard.
TOM CRUISE When you have to cope with a lot of problems, you're either going to sink or you're going to...
TOM CRUISE Football is unconditional love.
TOM BRADY My favorite meal has always been fried chicken.
TOM WATSON The dream is to keep surprising yourself, never mind the audience.
TOM HIDDLESTON Eighteenth-century doctors prescribed sugar pills for nearly everything: heart problems, headache, c...
TOM REISS Treat everyone with respect and kindness. Period. No exceptions.
KIANA TOM Good things, when short, are twice as good.
TOM STOPPARD Time is short, life is short, there's a lot to know. So I skip the entertainers in the newspaper...
TOM STOPPARD The thing that happens remarkably often is that the people who are writing a dissertation believe th...
TOM STOPPARD I'm offended by things and take pathetic little stands against them.
TOM STOPPARD My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers.
TOM STOPPARD The text loses its virginity simply by being staged: it's no longer the abstract ideal version; ...
TOM STOPPARD I don't think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones...
TOM STOPPARD Any revival in which I am involved is liable to change.
TOM STOPPARD Hotel rooms inhabit a separate moral universe.
TOM STOPPARD All your life, you live so close to truth, it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. An...
TOM STOPPARD Theatre is a series of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
TOM STOPPARD The whole philosophy of modern times is to dissolve distinctions between individuals and deal with t...
TOM STOPPARD For me, human rights simply endorse a view of life and a set of moral values that are perfectly clea...
TOM STOPPARD Every exit is an entry somewhere else.
TOM STOPPARD Procrastination is probably my worst habit out of many. Especially when it comes to paperwork.
TOM CONTI I love what I do. I take great pride in what I do. And I can't do something halfway, three-quart...
TOM CRUISE Mentally, the only players who survive in the pros are the ones able to manage all their responsibil...
TOM BRADY Sometimes, getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth is the hardest part of the day - it all...
TOM BRADY Every man should know, if you're comfortable and you like it, you should do it. Everyone always ...
TOM BRADY The only thing I ever wanted to be was a professional football player.
TOM BRADY I'm never going to be fast, and nobody will ever mistake me for being fast.
TOM BRADY So many guys are so conservative with their hair, and I always joke with all my buddies when they me...
TOM BRADY If I have something to say, I want it to be meaningful.
TOM BRADY My job is to play quarterback, and I'm going to do that the best way I know how, because I owe t...
TOM BRADY There's not much time to unwind, but you know what, it's because I love what I do. I look fo...
TOM BRADY I think the great part about what I do is that there's a scoreboard. At the end of every week, y...
TOM BRADY I don't think any country is perfect. It's our responsibility to do the best we can do to ch...
TOM BRADY You have to believe in your process. You have to believe in the things that you are doing to help th...
TOM BRADY The true competitors, though, are the ones who always play to win.
TOM BRADY When you're one of the leaders of the team, there are no days off.
TOM BRADY I was the kid that was the 199th pick that never had the body for it. People didn't think I'...
TOM BRADY Geometric shapes hold an energy pattern, and scientists did some experiments which say certain geome...
TOM DELONGE I just love working hard. I love being part of a team; I love working toward a common goal.
TOM BRADY What the United States needs to do at this point is reaffirm our commitment that Assad must go and t...
TOM COTTON So rather than face the bitter truth, China has placed severe restrictions on the Internet and enlis...
TOM LANTOS I think these movies are definitely comedies. It's quite difficult to take a superhero movie ser...
TOM HOLLAND Every chef has his treats. By that, I mean bits and pieces from things you're working on - crust...
TOM DOUGLAS I've gotten very good at scheduling my life, scheduling the scene and preparing myself for knowi...
TOM CRUISE I grew up watching 'Superman.' As a child, when I first learned to dive into a swimming pool...
TOM HIDDLESTON Songs really are like a form of time travel because they really have moved forward in a bubble. Ever...
TOM WAITS Catfish has a nice firm texture and mild flavor.
TOM DOUGLAS You have to enable and empower people to make decisions independent of you. As I've learned, eac...
TOM RIDGE America's health care system is in crisis precisely because we systematically neglect wellness a...
TOM HARKIN My wife and I decided to try and kick start our kitchens to a $15 minimum wage for cooks. I've p...
TOM DOUGLAS I think we're very uptight in America. You have to remember that we're descended from Purita...
TOM FORD Everybody has something that chews them up and, for me, that thing was always loneliness. The cinema...
TOM HANKS I have a weakness for watches. I have to stop myself buying more.
TOM JONES We are set to make very bad history.
TOM WILSON These days an income is something you can't live without - or within.
TOM WILSON If I had a nickel for every time I said 'Why me?' I'd have probably said 'Why me?...
TOM WILSON What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience.
TOM WILSON The waist is a terrible thing to mind.
TOM WILSON Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
TOM WILSON If you spend all of your time racing ahead to the future, you're liable to discover you've l...
TOM WILSON Many of us are more capable than some of us... but none of us is as capable as all of us!
TOM WILSON Happiness doesn't depend on how much you have to enjoy, but how much you enjoy what you have.
TOM WILSON There's no future in spending our present worrying about our past.
TOM WILSON Nobody got where they are today by living for tomorrow.
TOM WILSON About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.
TOM WILSON If I ever had an out-of-body experience - I'd try to come back to a different one.
TOM WILSON I wouldn't mind the rat race - if the rats would lose once in a while.
TOM WILSON Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
TOM WILSON A smile is a facelift that's in everyone's price range!
TOM WILSON Love is the ultimate expression of the will to live.
TOM WOLFE It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting.
TOM STOPPARD Miami is a melting pot in which none of the stones melt. They rattle around.
TOM WOLFE Stem cell research holds out the promise of finding cures and treatments for a wide range of disease...
TOM ALLEN Some people are cowards... I think by and large a third of people are villains, a third are cowards,...
TOM HANKS Obviously, you would give your life for your children, or give them the last biscuit on the plate. B...
TOM STOPPARD Everybody who is anyone wanted to meet a real life gangster, and here's Joey Gallo hitting the s...
TOM FOLSOM The secret to winning is constant, consistent management.
TOM LANDRY From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can lite...
TOM STOPPARD No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned w...
TOM WATSON Golf is a game of ego, but it is also a game of integrity: the most important thing is you do what i...
TOM WATSON Music is probably the only real magic I have encountered in my life. There's not some trick invo...
TOM PETTY I still believe that if your aim is to change the world, journalism is a more immediate short-term w...
TOM STOPPARD I understand the concept of optimism. But I think with me what you get is a lack of cynicism.
TOM HANKS Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
TOM WAITS A great production of a black comedy is better than a mediocre production of a comedy of errors.
TOM STOPPARD I have spoken to Donald Trump about this. He understands the dramatic budget cuts our military has f...
TOM COTTON When I was 20, in 1957, and maybe you would say I was old enough to know better, but nevertheless, I...
TOM STOPPARD We give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain.
TOM STOPPARD The notion that the 'leader' has the right to ask huge sacrifices of your generation for a n...
TOM STOPPARD The dominant male is history. Could you see a male Lady Gaga? The closest we've got is Justin Bi...
TOM ODELL