Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.