What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.

Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.

To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you’ve lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you.

Some people aren’t really light-teethed; they’re merely dark-skinned.

Some people are unemployed because they lack the minimum required education. Others are unemployed because they lack the minimum required obedience.

A celebrity's body is an advertiser's canvas.