What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.