They call it "fell asleep" but it should be more like "entered a mental state of regeneration."

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.