There's some are fou o' love divine, There's some are fou' o' brandy.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn, What dangers thou canst make us scorn! Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil; Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

It's a long time between drinks.

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?