The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.