There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.


Will Rogers

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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
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You have to find it in the moment, and that's one of the challenges of being an actor - especial...
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It's definitely a shock to go from being 15 in high school to working. There's no real cushi...
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a f...
P. J. O'ROURKE
I've got to be honest, there's no pleasure when you're working.
DANA PLATO
On the other hand, when you do something for someone else, there's often a greater, deeper satisfact...
CRAIG GROESCHEL
There are some screw-ups headed your way. I wish I could tell you that there was a trick to avoiding...
AARON SORKIN
If you write really good material, the rest just falls into place. There's really no trick to it...
SETH GRAHAME-SMITH
I definitely want to continue working in independent films - and big budget stuff as well - but ther...
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When your life is being threatened there's an instinctive urge to fight. You fight for the time ...
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It's literally, if I'm not working out, I eat the whole time I'm not working out. It'...
J. J. WATT
Reactionary conservatives are smiling through the racial apocalypse. To them, race baiting is a joke...
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When you are born rich, you have all these options. You can pursue a career path that you find inter...
JAMIE JOHNSON
There's no pleasure in working if you don't do the things you want to do.
SOPHIA LOREN
There is no ideal body. It's just taking what you have and working it.
OLIVIA CULPO
The trick, when you're flirting, is figuring how to keep a balance between being engaging enough...
NEIL STRAUSS
There's moments when you have to make a split-second decision that will form you for the rest of...
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When you work with filmmakers, and it's their first film, there's an exuberance and optimism...
REBECCA HALL
There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.
JOHN VON NEUMANN
Working with Woody Allen is like filming Howard Hughes's will. It's a very mysterious and st...
MICHAEL O'DONOGHUE
I started writing when I started acting professionally because, with acting, there's so much tim...
FINN WITTROCK
It must be nice for today's hitters when you don't have to worry about being thrown at. It&#...
HARMON KILLEBREW
The thing about being at home versus being out in the world working is, it's a whole different v...
CAT CORA
Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI
If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
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In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
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The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
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We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
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As you get better and better working out, there's no one who can keep up with you running. If yo...
GEORGE FOREMAN
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the li...
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Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone be...
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There's definitely a whole different vibe on the set when there's like basically royalty wor...
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Without the ability to talk about government power, there's no way for citizens to make sure thi...
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If you're waiting for the perfect moment, you'll never write a thing because it will never a...
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Have you seen the roses? There's a whole lot of colours.
SYD BARRETT
My view on working with any government in the world is that there are things that you will agree upo...
TIM COOK
There's no rule that says you have to make records constantly, like clockwork, to continue being...
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With kiting, you have to land a trick, and in that instant you know whether you won or lost - I knew...
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Coming from a background of being onstage, you're onstage for two and a half hours and you'r...
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Within each individual young person you meet, you have the same fields to plow. The trick is just to...
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But when you're a working actor - and that's what you keep saying in your head, how blessed ...
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I'm choosy to a fault. You want to hold out for a project that means something. You're the o...
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There's nothing like the feeling of being in Times Square for New Year's Eve. It's such ...
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When you shoot in a room, that's a symmetrical thing that contains you. When there's no cont...
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When you're dead, you're dead. No one is going to remember me when I'm dead. Oh, maybe a...
SUSAN HAYWARD
You take a vacation to a place like Thailand and you're ready for the excitement of something ne...
ED HELMS
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is ve...
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If you have a private firm and you spend a ton of money to pay employees, but what you produce is a ...
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Especially when you're working so closely with people and you have to develop intense relationsh...
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If you're working for a good company and you're happy there, and you're being compensate...
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The whole trick is to make it feel like you're spying on real people's lives as they get thr...
DAVID O. RUSSELL
When you're working at the forefront of creative design, you have to borrow from history. The trick ...
GARY GIBSON
People with children will know this: when the childcare is over, it's over on the dot. You immed...
ZADIE SMITH
I don't wilt easily, and a director can't either. He's the captain of the ship and he...
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When people say, 'You have Alzheimer's,' you have no idea what Alzheimer's is. You k...
NANCY REAGAN
Working in Hollywood, it's clear the more money you have, the more technology you can get. So yo...
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There's no ego when you're a ukulele player.
JAKE SHIMABUKURO
Whatever you want your child to learn, you have to model that every day. There's no more waiting...
AUTUMN REESER
There's an energy and excitement when you're building a company. You have so much tail wind....
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A play is much easier to maintain your personal life with because if you're rehearsing, you'...
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What a fine line there is between artistry and insanity. There's no formula for it, and I think ...
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With acting, when you're reading a script, you're regurgitating someone else's words. Th...
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When you're a stay-at-home mother you have to pretend it's really boring, but it's not. ...
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I'm not going to tell you much more of the case, Doctor. You know a conjuror gets no credit when onc...
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What would you have if you didn't have a murder in a mystery? You'd have something for the l...
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When you sing gospel you have a feeling there is a cure for what's wrong.
MAHALIA JACKSON
It's like being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving - you can put your elbows on it, you don&...
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When you make movies, you have to be preoccupied with the social problems, otherwise there is no poi...
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There's tremendous shame with being bullied. I think there's a level at which you think that...
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You knew how humiliating that is as an experience for celebrities to be less of a celebrity. There&#...
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Whereas if you have a camera in the courtroom, there's no filtering. What you see is what's ...
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That's always the trick with the sequels, is how much do you repeat from the first one. Because ...
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When you get as old as I am, you kind of believe there's nothing new under the sun, but there...
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There's no reason to change what you are, but if you're not being you, then you need to ackn...
MARILYN MANSON
It's always strange being a kid on the set, because you're treated like an equal when you...
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You have a powerful weapon working for you. For you there is no tomorrow and that makes you all very...
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When you have the demand, you can change the government policies that create McDonald's and junk...
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You spend your whole lifetime in your occupation, actually making life clever, easy and convenient f...
ROSA PARKS
I think it's the actor's job - when you think of being typecast or getting out of the shadow...
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There's no credit in not doing what you don't want to do. There's no virtue in not falli...
GILBERT PARKER
I have no clue why, but maybe sometimes when there's someone you don't hear from, it's t...
JANET JACKSON
I see only one requirement you have to have to be a director or any kind of artist: rhythm. Rhythm, ...
ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU
I've gone through long periods of time when there's no work for me. You wait for the next jo...
CHARLIE COX
Personally, I've learned about perseverance: when you hear the word 'No,' and when you h...
ANGELA ROBINSON
The trick is, a market has to be nonexistent when you start. If the market is large early on, you wi...
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With fame, you can't trust everybody. You can't depend on them being there for you as a pers...
CHRIS BROWN
There's more pressure to be famous for being yourself than if you're being a character.
KIM KARDASHIAN
Being a working actor, you're going to do a Spelling show. It's hard not to.
CASPER VAN DIEN
When you're doing a TV show, it's not like you just shoot for six weeks and you're in an...
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When you're successful, there will be friends, people, VIPs rallying around you. When you're...
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
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I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
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Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
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You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
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Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
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Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
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It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
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I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
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No party is as bad as its leaders.
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
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The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
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If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
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All I know is what I read in the papers.
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The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
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America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
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Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
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There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
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There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
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The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
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You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
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Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
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Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers.
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Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
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There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
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Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
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There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoir...
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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- w...
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
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Compared to them I
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The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...
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We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR C...
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My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
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Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
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I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
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The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal...
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An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
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There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberat...
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The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
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The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
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Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
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We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
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There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can ne...
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Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
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Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Live so that you wouldn
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The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
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In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they c...
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There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
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There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set. If you have los...
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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something ...
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Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't...
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
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Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are to finishing it. You take Diplomac...
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I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
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This depression was deep, and you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.
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Lord, let me live until I die.
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One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
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Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
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You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
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There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
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When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't ...
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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
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Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work
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In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in...
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Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting ...
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You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.
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You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
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Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold
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You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
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Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
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All I know is what I read in the papers
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Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
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The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on ...
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Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a croo...
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
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Common sense ain't common.
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I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every mor...
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Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.
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Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
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You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
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For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the po...
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
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Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each ot...
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ...
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutio...
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Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it...
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A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you...
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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
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One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they do...
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Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then se...
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
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You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
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A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United Stat...
WILL ROGERS
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
WILL ROGERS
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live o...
WILL ROGERS
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
WILL ROGERS
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
WILL ROGERS
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
WILL ROGERS
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
WILL ROGERS
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve...
WILL ROGERS
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
WILL ROGERS
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a Hous...
WILL ROGERS
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...
WILL ROGERS
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...
WILL ROGERS
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper t...
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized party--I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
WILL ROGERS
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
WILL ROGERS
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifu...
WILL ROGERS