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There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I'm like - 'I can't laugh that much. That's so weird to me.'


Norm MacDonald

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NORM MACDONALD I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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NORM MACDONALD I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he&...
NORM MACDONALD Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can ...
NORM MACDONALD I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends abou...
NORM MACDONALD I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have...
NORM MACDONALD Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, tha...
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NORM MACDONALD I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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NORM MACDONALD I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love...
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NORM MACDONALD I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you'...
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NORM CROSBY I don't ever remember overcoming adversities.
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NORM DICKS We have to get away from the class warfare and recognize that we are growing jobs by helping small b...
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NORM DICKS UPS understands it is not part of the probe.
NORM BLACK Which Lord do you worship? The lord of the money tree or the Lord that was nailed to a tree? The gos...
NORM TOMLINSON I am nothing more than a wretched man that needs God's mercy and grace. I am redeemed by the blood o...
NORM TOMLINSON I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the mess...
NORM CROSBY The surfaces on here aren't as hard or as impervious to scratching and damage as the commercial ones...
NORM NICHOLS You don't become a Christian by chance, God calls you because He already determined it. You really t...
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NORM NICHOLS It's almost like thinking of twins.
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NORM COLEMAN The findings from this review, I hope, will provide Congress with the requisite information to make ...
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NORM CROSBY The system is broken, worthless.
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NORM SCHERSTROM When the American government turned it's back on God; it turned it's back on the forefathers and ver...
NORM TOMLINSON Was lost but now I'm found... God predestined to save His lost; not us freely choosing Christ.. Salv...
NORM TOMLINSON Repentance is necessary because it shows the person how evil their sin is. True repentance leads to ...
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NORM TOMLINSON Man's free will to "choose" Christ is playing tug of war with God's sovereignty..
NORM TOMLINSON Free will destroyed man's relationship with God, God's will restored it.
NORM TOMLINSON Be a warrior for Christ, the most powerful weapon is the Word of God.
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NORM TOMLINSON You are my Lord and King; You are my sovereign and graceful God. What I have You graciously gave me,...
NORM TOMLINSON Cruelty to humans and animals resides in the evilness of man. A godly man will not harm in a cruel w...
NORM TOMLINSON The biblical understanding of Christianity is not asking Jesus into your heart; it is God's grace al...
NORM TOMLINSON Abortion is the new holocaust, it is a real life horror story that involves millions of unwanted bab...
NORM TOMLINSON Racism is sin itself. Trump didn't cause the racism in men's hearts, sin did. You have people statin...
NORM TOMLINSON Redeemed by a merciful King that humbled Himself and paid for the penalty I rightly deserve.
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NORM TOMLINSON A random act of kindness goes a long way.
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NORM TOMLINSON If atheists don't believe in God then why do they keep attacking Him?
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NORM TOMLINSON My Lord and Savior Jesus, because of my wickedness and wretched ways I deserve hell. You saved me fr...
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NORM TOMLINSON The wickedness of the secular agenda is destroying this country.
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NORM TOMLINSON Christian faith doesn't come naturally to a person, God must give the faith to the person.
NORM TOMLINSON I told the guys it was like getting a monkey, and then I said a gorilla off our back.
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NORM COLEMAN Everyone thinks I've been offered all these job opportunities. There's only been one job offer I tur...
NORM CHOW Mankind will never be good enough to "choose" Jesus as Saviour. It takes the mercy and grace of God ...
NORM TOMLINSON Let it be the Will of God not the will of man.
NORM TOMLINSON I think he's going to fall back on what he didn't want to do, what he swore he wouldn't do, but almo...
NORM ORNSTEIN What is wrong with America? When we idolize false gods and other things rather than worshipping the ...
NORM TOMLINSON It is said that God has a passive wrath and a full wrath. I believe America under God's passive wrat...
NORM TOMLINSON He's putting a marker down that an awful lot of his colleagues have been unwilling to do.
NORM ORNSTEIN There is a real opportunity right now as parents and grandparents to come up with a plan that leaves...
NORM COLEMAN So when people go to the park this summer, they are not going to have the same quality of a visit. T...
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NORM HAYTER We do not have any accounts of the suspect getting into an automobile or hopping on a boat,
NORM STAMPER Everybody's an expert, and everybody's got an opinion. It takes a lot of calm heads and negotiations...
NORM JARVIS Unforgiveness tortures the soul and destroys the heart.
NORM TOMLINSON The Bonaparte has a thin, black bill. The Franklin has a dark red bill.
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NORM COLEMAN It hurts to lose. What we did, the things I didn't want to see us do, stay out of the box, and that'...
NORM GAGNE We had our chances in the first five minutes to win the game, and we didn't bury them. That whole ga...
NORM GAGNE I told the kids that it is playoff time now and I believe that it is not always the most-talented te...
NORM GAGNE He told me he just got pushed into the middle. He didn't mean to be there.
NORM GAGNE Why do people blame God for the bad things that happen or ask "where was God when you needed Him"? W...
NORM TOMLINSON I am a wretched sinner that is made righteous by a merciful God and Savior. His blood shed for me ev...
NORM TOMLINSON Everyday I see today's secular churches wanting to please people. A true church should only want to ...
NORM TOMLINSON When you go this long, you've got to grit it out. That's what it's all about. You've got to grit it ...
NORM GAGNE Only the Shepherd's sheep hears His voice and seeks Him.
NORM TOMLINSON The heart of mankind is evil and wicked; it takes the Holy Spirit to change it.
NORM TOMLINSON When he came to me wanting to do something in astronomy, I got excited. Astronomy is my first love i...
NORM NEGUS Man's trust in his good works, self righteousness and salvation only lands him in hell.
NORM TOMLINSON A Christian's faith in Christ is not of their own but given to the Christian by an Almighty God.
NORM TOMLINSON The heart of the gospel is redemption, and the essence of redemption is the substitutionary sacrific...
NORM TOMLINSON When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart ...
NORM CROSBY We patched it up with chewing gum and Scotch tape.
NORM HEWITT The truth in Calvin's theology helps a man understand God's grace.
NORM TOMLINSON Women, Can't live with 'em, Pass the beer nuts.
NORM PETERSON Oil-for-food shows the need for reform. There was fraud, corruption, mismanagement,
NORM COLEMAN [Leinart acknowledged before summer camp began that he was] upset ... The good thing about this year...
NORM CHOW This is being brought up for partisan political reasons, and it's not a serious attempt to pass it,
NORM DICKS It's going to be impossible to replace Brandon Ward. We think Gabe (Willey) can fill in very nicely ...
NORM BRUEMMER I would rather be trampled by raging elephants than see the full wrath of my God. My repentance from...
NORM TOMLINSON Without Christ's resurrection there would be no hope and no eternal life. All that Christians believ...
NORM TOMLINSON We made the plays when we needed to, and Tiffany buckled down when she needed to.
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NORM CHOW There will be some things that are different that all college coaches go through when they get to th...
NORM CHOW Hey, I copied every play I ever learned from guys who are a lot smarter than I am.
NORM CHOW This guy's a little bit special. This guy's a little different.
NORM CHOW The guy's one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. To tie him up and say he just has to do what we e...
NORM CHOW Believe me, Southern Cal is going to be just fine, and Matt's going to be just fine, ... I wasn't th...
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NORM CROSBY I've been on the 'Tonight Show' a million times, and I'd be embarrassed to do the sa...
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NORM CHAMBERS America has a strategic interest in continuing to welcome international students at our colleges, un...
NORM COLEMAN I told the guys (other assistants), 'If you think of something, write it down, because I'm not going...
NORM CHOW This would have been a nice thing to have, but hey, the commission overwhelmingly decided the secret...
NORM DICKS This is not a real aggressive move by the government to do anything.
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NORM EASH These are three huge projects that are going to have a huge impact.
NORM LUPPINO He was ?Mr. Racing' in Medina.
NORM KRUEGER It wasn't my time, but had I died, I wouldn't have known about it.
NORM MANSFIELD giving aid and comfort to their adversaries.
NORM ORNSTEIN I think it's a perfect age for them to do an investigation . . . that's unique to them and not a c...
NORM NEGUS I haven't sent anyone out that door yet without a smile.
NORM ROSENDALE We got frustrated. Duke does that to you. We tried to keep our composure, but we're a young team and...
NORM ROBERTS Sometimes the other team is better than you.
NORM PRICE It's going to be great. You're going to have those new bridges. You'll be going underneath the new b...
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ROSS MACDONALD I'm also interested in creating a lasting legacy for collectors because bronze will last for tho...
RICHARD MACDONALD Certainly work is not always required of a man. There is such a thing as a sacred idleness - the c...
GEORGE MACDONALD But for money and the need of it, there would not be half the friendship in the world. It is powerfu...
GEORGE MACDONALD Do the things you know, and you shall learn the truth you need to know.
GEORGE MACDONALD Certainly work is not always required of a man. There is such a thing as a sacred idleness, the cult...
GEORGE MACDONALD To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
GEORGE MACDONALD You can't live on amusement. It is the froth on water -- an inch deep and then the mud.
GEORGE MACDONALD The best preparation for the future is the present well seen to, and the last duty done.
GEORGE MACDONALD God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity still in the c...
GEORGE MACDONALD To have what we want is riches; but to be able to do without is power.
GEORGE MACDONALD The principal part of faith is patience.
GEORGE MACDONALD Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.
GEORGE MACDONALD I find that doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans.
GEORGE MACDONALD