There are still some barriers to some particular jobs that are more high paying jobs like high-level executives, CEOs of companies that women just aren't in the proportion that men are in.
Dr. Pat Hedberg
Related Sauces or peppers that arent hot, are like books that dont entretain (or vice versa). JAIME TENORIO VALENZUELA As more workers lose manufacturing jobs as companies cut back, some are being forced into lower-payi... BILL DEDMAN These are high paying jobs. JACK LAVIN CEOs and directors realize that board discussions are richer when individuals with diverse backgroun... JULIE DAUM Some of those jobs are still going to migrate back down to Cincinnati, where Federated is located. A... DAVE BRENNAN The Bay Area's most heavily represented industries here are in management of companies and enterpris... AMAR MANN If these companies grow here, they'll create high-paying jobs and significant revenues. MICHAEL GOLDBERG These counsels are people who are not only people of high intellect, they have forgone much higher p... MANUEL MIRANDA You are not going to have people move here to fill these high-paying jobs unless you have high quali... BARRY GRISWELL I am naturally concerned. There is just not a lot of high paying jobs back here. SCOTT BIAS More than 30 percent of the job growth is in leisure and hospitality, and those jobs are not high pa... ALAN GIN Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed! I ARE Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y... THEHEALTHFOODGURU There are two ways of seeing quality decline. One is that you lose high-quality jobs or you gain low... BENJAMIN TAL There are some private meetings being arranged by some of the companies in town that they want to in... GLYN MEEK It's a huge race to the bottom in terms of what companies are doing to their workers. Communities in... DAVE PETERSON All the studies show that those people in high-pressure jobs are more inclined to have problems with... ROBERT INGRAM These are very good jobs with high salaries in a growing industry that is very important to Georgia. JEFFREY HUMPHREYS They are some of the best entry level jobs that are available to poor people. And they also make pro... ANDREW YOUNG Our economy creates and loses jobs every quarter in the millions. But of the net new jobs, the jobs ... KAREN MILLS I'm for creating high-paying jobs. THOM TILLIS We have simply lost a lot of high-paying jobs, CHARLES WARREN We are focusing on high-wage types of jobs to create wealth in the county. GARY TUCKER In terms of business growth and economic development - there are really two ways to develop a strong... CURT NICHOLS In each instance, when we were talking about this, we were told that the high-wage jobs were going t... TIM RYAN We believe there is still some question regarding the need for that particular level of savings and ... HAL MYERS Men are just as sensitive, and in some ways more sensitive, than women are. BARBARA DE ANGELIS There are 80 jobs in which women earn more than men - positions like financial analyst, speech-langu... WARREN FARRELL The need to figure out how we can build those bridges so we can understand what's in our community, ... WALT BLOMBERG We do anticipate some price moderation in the coming months, but only moderation that results in pri... JAMES BURKHARD Some negroes lie, some are immoral, some negro men are not be trusted around women - black and white... HARPER LEE When I talk to people, their concern is, how are you going to create jobs? How are you going to help... ALEXI GIANNOULIAS In porn, men give blow jobs like they love men. Women give blow jobs like they love the camera. FIERCE DOLAN Unemployment is so low that that's really not much of an available labor pool if you're trying to at... TIM ALFORD In my experience, most federal prosecutors, at every level, are seeking to make a name for themselve... JED S. RAKOFF Why here?' is a question that I'm asked a lot, ... The answer is there are many, many families movin... DONNA GREEN Why here?' is a question that I'm asked a lot, ... The answer is there are many, many families mov... DONNA GREEN You've got to remember that men are men and women are women. And although a lot of similarities,... HELEN FISHER We are pleased to be working in partnership with Hudson Valley Community College on an initiative th... ALAIN KALOYEROS Many (companies) in fact believe that (employees) are less effective in their jobs when 'dressed dow... KHALID AZIZ It's getting better but men still earn more and there are more jobs for them. Ageism is a big th... JULIE WALTERS There are some men who are consoled by the idea that there are women less attractive than their wive... JOHN FOWLES There are some jobs in which it is impossible for a man to be virtuous ARISTOTLE These are the jobs that stay and are becoming more attractive as manufacturing jobs go abroad. CATHY MINKLER When I was in high school, I had already kind of been working in the industry and had done a couple ... JILLIAN ROSE REED When it comes to jobs, jobs are just like products in the sense that the free market operates and se... WAYNE ROGERS CEOs and directors realize that board discussions are richer when individuals with diverse backgroun... JULIE DAUM A good proportion of foreign nationals in jobs in the UK are in semi or low-skilled occupations. IAIN DUNCAN SMITH It's the kind of use any community would want. It brings in high-paying jobs and keeps research in S... ALLEN JONES African American women, and moms in particular, are evicted at disproportionately high rates. MATTHEW DESMOND We are still in a position where equities are representing good value. Some companies are taking adv... GILES KEATING A very high proportion of that job growth is occurring in high-paying professions. This is a demand-... MARK VITNER There are so many artists that are dyslexic or learning disabled, it's just phenomenal. There... CHUCK CLOSE It does not bode well for unemployment that, not only are more unemployed workers seeking jobs, but ... JEFFREY WENGER All of the factors that make up a quality city - safe streets, high paying jobs, strong neighborhood... ALAN AUTRY You are seeing these positions that companies posted minutes ago that are coming online. You can app... JENNIFER SULLIVAN The public sector certainly includes the Department of Labor. Those are jobs that are available. The... ALEXIS HERMAN There are a lot of people who are opposed to anything and some of them live in the Down Under area. ... CHARLES MILLARD By 2008 there are going to be 6 million unanswered jobs that require some technical background. That... BILL SWANSON Though the customer is always right, there are some customers you do not want. JEFFREY FRY There are people in life that prove clowns have day jobs HENRY KIPLING The public sector certainly includes the Department of Labor. Those are jobs that are available. The... ALEXIS HERMAN I think that American women are further along than any other women in the world. But you can't h... ALICE PAUL The chances today are better than they were in the past. I still think there are some barriers we wo... ALVIN SMITH These are some of the more dominant chips in the high end of the embedded space, so we created this ... DAVE HOFERT Crime is low, because the police are doing their jobs, but recruiting is high. DANIEL PEREZ There is no difference between men and women and I tried to prove that even in logic men and women a... JANA TYLOVA I guess we'll just wait and watch the dust fly. If it does give some people jobs, we need that becau... DON JONES I always believed that women have rights and that there are some women that are intelligent enough t... SHAKIRA (The initiative) is a public/private partnership designed to attract and retain the businesses and h... MORGAN O'BRIEN The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a... ARUNDHATI ROY This technology is desperately needed in today's classrooms so that children here in America will ac... WILLIAM BOWEN The potential is huge, yet the pitfalls are bottomless. After years of communism, some companies bor... FRANCIS LUN Accountants, machinists, medical technicians, even software writers that write the software for '... BILL GROSS Women are men without money. PAUL SAMUELSON Now is not the time to compromise on the economy. Instead, we should be doing everything in our powe... TODD TIAHRT Restaurant industry sales in 2011 are estimated to have reached a record high of $604 billion, up 3.... DAVID SAX Globalised manufacturing and procurement mean that a lot of high-polluting, heavy duty jobs are tran... MA JUN There is a very high growth of new companies, which are backed by venture capitalists [and] are star... BUELL DUNCAN There is a very high growth of new companies, which are backed by venture capitalists (and) are star... BUELL DUNCAN You need mystery. You actually do. I think that's what foreign women, French women in particular... JASON CLARKE Most of the executives of publicly held companies are on the job for five years and these companies ... DANNY MILLER There are lots of examples of routine, middle-skilled jobs that involve relatively structured tasks,... ERIK BRYNJOLFSSON Yeah, we've had some high winds and there's been some tough scores out there and the conditions are ... BILLY MAYFAIR What we want is to improve the quality of life for everybody. We want to improve the standard of liv... WADE JONES Electricians that like good health avoid the known biologically toxic very high powered electrical u... STEVEN MAGEE This unit is designed to cater to those customers that are looking for an entry-level product. Thing... JONATHAN SASSE There are some high-growth assets out there that we can purchase and we can purchase using the curre... LEONARD ASPER There are two conflicting forces at work on the consumer. One is people have jobs, they have money, ... KURT BARNARD We have a lot of employers who are looking for skilled workers and not being able to find them. And ... ELAINE CHAO Some women are built by the fire. Yet, there are some that are the FIRE! SHANNON L. ALDER I'd use the market dips as an opportunity to get into quality companies. There are a lot of good sto... ALAN HOFFMAN I find it fascinating that sport has such a strong connection to success in business. Arguably, C-su... BETH BROOKE Dream barriers look very high until someone climbs them. Then they are not barriers any more. LASSE VIREN Yet in this global economy, no jobs are safe. High-speed Internet connections and low-cost, skilled ... BOB TAFT The gas exploration companies pay a very high wage. People who are underemployed today will change j... BUCK LAYNE Claims are still high but are way down. The anti-fraud initiative is paying dividends, DANIEL JOHNSTON Most are employed or between jobs and what they make is just not enough. They are below the poverty ... ANNIE YAZDANI Twenty years ago, you might have been pessimistic and said there's no hope. But these days, some of ... JARED DIAMOND There are hundreds of good men in this business and hundreds of good women and there are some who ar... LESLEY VISSER
More Dr. Pat Hedberg
It used to be that we thought we could have it all as women and I think we're realizing that's a myt... DR. PAT HEDBERG That is the key question. What is discrimination and what are we talking about here? DR. PAT HEDBERG Flexibility does not necessarily equate to great pay. DR. PAT HEDBERG Men and women do get paid equally for the same work for the most part. DR. PAT HEDBERG I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day. MITCH HEDBERG Dogs are forever in the push up postion. MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. MITCH HEDBERG I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. MITCH HEDBERG I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli... MITCH HEDBERG If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up. MITCH HEDBERG I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. MITCH HEDBERG I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has... MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty. MITCH HEDBERG When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. MITCH HEDBERG All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. MITCH HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b... MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w... MITCH HEDBERG Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob... MITCH HEDBERG Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. MITCH HEDBERG A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s... MITCH HEDBERG I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g... MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. MITCH HEDBERG My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got h... MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so...... MITCH HEDBERG Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, yo... MITCH HEDBERG I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the... MITCH HEDBERG I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, becau... MITCH HEDBERG I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the d... MITCH HEDBERG I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't ... MITCH HEDBERG I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio?... MITCH HEDBERG Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna... MITCH HEDBERG I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. MITCH HEDBERG Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. MITCH HEDBERG I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-ci... MITCH HEDBERG I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. MITCH HEDBERG My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfwa... MITCH HEDBERG I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. Th... MITCH HEDBERG It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have han... MITCH HEDBERG I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. MITCH HEDBERG Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? MITCH HEDBERG I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. MITCH HEDBERG My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. MITCH HEDBERG I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and... MITCH HEDBERG An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporari... MITCH HEDBERG I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. MITCH HEDBERG You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't... MITCH HEDBERG I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. MITCH HEDBERG It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? MITCH HEDBERG I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good... MITCH HEDBERG Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a... MITCH HEDBERG My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's ha... MITCH HEDBERG I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other... MITCH HEDBERG Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, beca... MITCH HEDBERG I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store... MITCH HEDBERG Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile whe... MITCH HEDBERG Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes. MITCH HEDBERG I went to see a band in New York. The lead singer got on the microphone, and he said How many of you... MITCH HEDBERG I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally w... MITCH HEDBERG I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was tryi... MITCH HEDBERG Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over... MITCH HEDBERG I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all ... MITCH HEDBERG I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with the... MITCH HEDBERG I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would nev... MITCH HEDBERG You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at m... MITCH HEDBERG With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quit... MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. MITCH HEDBERG I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it. MITCH HEDBERG I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I'v... MITCH HEDBERG I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. MITCH HEDBERG I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something. MITCH HEDBERG I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming... MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. MITCH HEDBERG I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wa... MITCH HEDBERG Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna... MITCH HEDBERG I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other w... MITCH HEDBERG Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved. MITCH HEDBERG I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because... MITCH HEDBERG If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower. MITCH HEDBERG I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supp... MITCH HEDBERG A severed foot is the perfect stocking stuffer. MITCH HEDBERG I got so much tarter i dont gotta dip my fishsticks in shit! MITCH HEDBERG At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I nee... MITCH HEDBERG I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist. MITCH HEDBERG My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's l... MITCH HEDBERG You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't wan... MITCH HEDBERG I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow sh*t. MITCH HEDBERG They're all really little boys. We get these guys who control business kingdoms and make people shak... CATHARINA HEDBERG I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before. MITCH HEDBERG Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people wer... MITCH HEDBERG My roommate said, 'I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?' It's l... MITCH HEDBERG On Thursday I found him in his room in the fetal position. CATHARINA HEDBERG I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was sup... MITCH HEDBERG I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations th... MITCH HEDBERG I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a... MITCH HEDBERG I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying g... MITCH HEDBERG If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work. MITCH HEDBERG A guy told me he liked cherries. I waited to see if he was going to say 'tomato' before I realized h... MITCH HEDBERG Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport ... MITCH HEDBERG Y'know I order a club sandwhich all the time. And I'm not even a member. I don't know how I get away... MITCH HEDBERG ...and then at the end of the letter I like to write P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would ... MITCH HEDBERG Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and ... MITCH HEDBERG I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I need to rewrite it. I said... MITCH HEDBERG My friend was walking down the street and he said, I hear music. As if there is any other way of tak... MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water... because I wanted to whistle. MITCH HEDBERG I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. MITCH HEDBERG “S*** or get off the pot.” MITCH HEDBERG Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made $3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they pa... MITCH HEDBERG Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because th... MITCH HEDBERG You can't please all the people all the time, and last night all those people were at my show. MITCH HEDBERG I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said "Where do you see yourself in f... MITCH HEDBERG I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before. MITCH HEDBERG I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get ... MITCH HEDBERG I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. MITCH HEDBERG If you boat a lot, you're known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't want to ev... MITCH HEDBERG I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way ... MITCH HEDBERG I went to the store to bye a candle holder. They didn't have one so I got a cake. MITCH HEDBERG Swiss Cheese is a rip-off! It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss! MITCH HEDBERG There are six ducks out here, and they all want Sun Chips! MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty. MITCH HEDBERG Pickles are cucumbers that sold out. MITCH HEDBERG Why are there no during pictures. MITCH HEDBERG I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. MITCH HEDBERG I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I do... MITCH HEDBERG I tried walking into a Target , but I missed. MITCH HEDBERG I get the Reese's candy bar, If you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't k... MITCH HEDBERG I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me ... MITCH HEDBERG Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and... MITCH HEDBERG My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which ones the real hero? MITCH HEDBERG A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I ... MITCH HEDBERG I was walking down the street at 3am, and I passed a dry cleaner. The sign in the window said -"Sorr... MITCH HEDBERG I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a con... MITCH HEDBERG You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, ... MITCH HEDBERG I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They re... MITCH HEDBERG I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know h... MITCH HEDBERG If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, t... MITCH HEDBERG An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporaril... MITCH HEDBERG You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with... MITCH HEDBERG I got a robe. It's not a robe, really, it's just a towel that fits me. MITCH HEDBERG I sick of "soup of the day" it's time we made a decision, i want to know what "soup from now on" is MITCH HEDBERG She is definitely an offensive threat. If she can get her feet set, she can be deadly. WENDY HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubbl... MITCH HEDBERG I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying... MITCH HEDBERG I think Bigfoot is blurry - that's the problem. It's not the photographers' fault. Bigfoot is blurry... MITCH HEDBERG I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others. MITCH HEDBERG I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to p... MITCH HEDBERG Where are all the 'during' photos? I've never seen one. MITCH HEDBERG I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wr... MITCH HEDBERG It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll ... MITCH HEDBERG My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockr... MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never l... MITCH HEDBERG I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle. MITCH HEDBERG What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?... MITCH HEDBERG I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna hav... MITCH HEDBERG Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree. MITCH HEDBERG I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too. MITCH HEDBERG On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Gr... MITCH HEDBERG It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funk... MITCH HEDBERG I mumble a lot when im off stage, so a lot of times when im with a friend i'll say something and he'... MITCH HEDBERG One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every pict... MITCH HEDBERG That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for th... MITCH HEDBERG No one's star-struck here. You puke right next to the best of them. CATHARINA HEDBERG I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a... MITCH HEDBERG COME ON YOU'RE FROM THE SOUTH YOU UNDERSTAND, I MEAN I'M IN THE STH I WANT SOME SP MITCH HEDBERG I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner. MITCH HEDBERG Because of Acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. MITCH HEDBERG I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't... MITCH HEDBERG 2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created. MITCH HEDBERG I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product... MITCH HEDBERG Both Whitney and Amy are what is neat about this team. They are not selfish. It is not all about sco... WENDY HEDBERG I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs. MITCH HEDBERG I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, tha... MITCH HEDBERG My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me t... MITCH HEDBERG I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. MITCH HEDBERG I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. MITCH HEDBERG I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle. MITCH HEDBERG Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I... MITCH HEDBERG Alisa's been playing great, just unbelievable. Her shooting percentage is one of the tops in the con... WENDY HEDBERG Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,0... MITCH HEDBERG A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. MITCH HEDBERG I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. MITCH HEDBERG They say one's weakness can be another strength but my strengths can lead to anothers demolition PAT I like how the other guys are stepping up. If we keep this up, then Bell does not have to score 25 p... PAT WILLIAMS Coaching in the NBA is not easy. It's like a nervous breakdown with a paycheck. PAT WILLIAMS We were so bad last year, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in the cheers. PAT WILLIAMS We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure ... PAT WILLIAMS Great leaders have a heart for people. They take time for people. They view people as the bottom lin... PAT WILLIAMS We got a little waylaid along the way. The whole problem started about 10 years ago with management ... PAT TRAVERS I'm just gonna be doing stuff that I really enjoy doing. I'm not gonna attempt to be current... PAT TRAVERS I had a lousy marriage and I drank too much. PAT TRAVERS I needed an opportunity to get back in the studio and get my recording chops back together. PAT TRAVERS I have nothing but contempt for Gadhafi. I'm not a Gadhafi supporter in any way. However, it'... PAT TOOMEY If you have a federal government that's not enforcing the law and does not preserve the integrit... PAT TOOMEY I'm the guy who's started businesses, I've been a small business owner. I've employe... PAT TOOMEY After 2003, we lowered taxes across the board. And by 2004, revenue to the federal government grew. ... PAT TOOMEY I'm the guy that has written at great length about exactly how we should profoundly reform Socia... PAT TOOMEY I think it's the broadest source of dissatisfaction amongst Republicans, out-of-control spending... PAT TOOMEY I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's ... PAT TOOMEY You can see how dysfunctional this Congress is. PAT TOOMEY