The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em.


Will Rogers

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All I know is what I read in the papers
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Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
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The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on ...
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Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a croo...
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
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Common sense ain't common.
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I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
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Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
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Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
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Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each ot...
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ...
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutio...
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Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it...
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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
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One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they do...
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Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
WILL ROGERS
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
WILL ROGERS
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United Stat...
WILL ROGERS
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
WILL ROGERS
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live o...
WILL ROGERS
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
WILL ROGERS
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
WILL ROGERS
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
WILL ROGERS
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
WILL ROGERS
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve...
WILL ROGERS
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
WILL ROGERS
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a Hous...
WILL ROGERS
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...
WILL ROGERS
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...
WILL ROGERS
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper t...
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized party--I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
WILL ROGERS
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
WILL ROGERS
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifu...
WILL ROGERS