The only way to know if the glass is half empty or half full is to measure it really accurately, like with a laser.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.