All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!