FastSaying

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.


Anonymous

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ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
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ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
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I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
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ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
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ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
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ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
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ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
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ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
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ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
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ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
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ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
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ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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ANONYMOUS