The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.