Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

My mother was watching on television and she doesn't want me to hurt anyone.

No! No no no no no no! Well, yes.