Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

I know the Bible is inspired because it finds me at greater depths of my being than any other book