Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.

I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote.

Liberals claim to love gays when it allows them to vent their spleen at Republicans. But disagree with liberals and their first response is to call you gay... But who has done more to out, embarrass, and destroy the lives of gay men who prefer to keep their orientation private than Democrats? Who is more intolerant of gays in the Republican Party than gays in the Democratic Party?

I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it.

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.