A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.

I used to dread going on 'Politically Incorrect' with 'up and coming' comedians. But at least on 'Politically Incorrect', there would be just one has-been or wannabe on the panel.

I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote.

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

My favourite game is Postal because it is so politically incorrect.

I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it.