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She has a wash and wear bridal gown.


Henny Youngman

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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop. -Henny Youngman.
HENNY YOUNGMAN She wore an A-line bridal gown with a V-shaped neckline while Apollo playing Bach's Air on the G str...
TAI The bridal gown of this season is going to have some color in it. Girls today are not so stuck on th...
CAMI HESTER I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well
OLIVER GOLDSMITH I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH I... chose my wife as she did her wedding-gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as...
OLIVER GOLDSMITH If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
HENNY YOUNGMAN You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he salute...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another si...
HENNY YOUNGMAN That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
HENNY YOUNGMAN I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He g...
HENNY YOUNGMAN How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
HENNY YOUNGMAN Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
HENNY YOUNGMAN When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as w...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little a...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
HENNY YOUNGMAN When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENNY YOUNGMAN There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a litt...
HENNY YOUNGMAN The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one t...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week...
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep lat...
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
HENNY YOUNGMAN My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENNY YOUNGMAN You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
HENNY YOUNGMAN While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
HENNY YOUNGMAN She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet fi...
HENNY YOUNGMAN This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
HENNY YOUNGMAN A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Doctor says to a man "You're pregnant!" The man says "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
HENNY YOUNGMAN She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Ştii ce înseamnă să vii acasă seara la o femeie care să îţi ofere dragoste, afecţiune şi u...
HENNY YOUNGMAN What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angele...
HENNY YOUNGMAN How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Take my wife... Please!
HENNY YOUNGMAN I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Always wear sunscreen and wash your makeup off at night.
GAIL SIMMONS I love a beautiful gown on stage, and luckily I've been fortunate to wear some amazing dresses.
LEONA LEWIS I brought color to bridal. There was one whole season of blush. If you think about the bareness, the...
VERA WANG She has her gown nicely in place tonight, doesnt she? Black velvet and sparkles, not a thread left h...
TERRY BROOKS You feel very romantic when you're in a ball gown. Everyone should wear one once in a while.
CAROLINA HERRERA Curran's whore comes to visit us," Jarek said in accented English.

The three men laughed ...
ILONA ANDREWS I wash my face every night with Ivory soap, and I don't wear much makeup.
BRANDY NORWOOD She wore a gown the color of storms, shadows, and rain and a necklace of broken promises and regrets...
SUSANNA CLARKE She must not swing her arms as though they were dangling ropes; she must not switch herself this way...
EMILY POST I think winter wear is communal. You get some gloves and a scarf from a lost-and-found box, wash the...
ADRIAN GRENIER I think that the different styles of prom dresses goes along with the strength, confidence and matur...
ELIZABETH MORGAN Christie just gave me a picture she drew. It is of an angel blowing a horn. The angel has a red cros...
PATRICIA DUNN If you've chosen someone to be in your bridal party, she should be a good enough friend that she...
GEORGINA CHAPMAN I'm a lover and a fighter. That's what's so engaging. She is the most balanced person on that ship. ...
GINA TORRES You can be someone's friend and have sex with them. The trick is you have to want their emotional an...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON O: Hey youngman, you should respect me! Y: Hey oldman, you should understand me!
TOBA BETA She was one of the first ones who actually had a couture gown made for her in Paris.
PATTY FOX The fashion industry was just merciless to her because she wasn't buying a new, up-to-date gown.
EDITH MAYO You may wear your virtues as a crown, As you walk through life serenely, And grace your simple...
PHOEBE CARY O: Hey youngman, you should respect me!
Y: Hey oldman, you should understand me!
TOBA BETA

More Henny Youngman

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
HENNY YOUNGMAN You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he salute...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another si...
HENNY YOUNGMAN That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
HENNY YOUNGMAN I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He g...
HENNY YOUNGMAN How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
HENNY YOUNGMAN Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
HENNY YOUNGMAN When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as w...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little a...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
HENNY YOUNGMAN When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENNY YOUNGMAN There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a litt...
HENNY YOUNGMAN The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one t...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week...
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep lat...
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
HENNY YOUNGMAN My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENNY YOUNGMAN You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
HENNY YOUNGMAN While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today.
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop. -Henny Youngman.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
HENNY YOUNGMAN I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
HENNY YOUNGMAN She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet fi...
HENNY YOUNGMAN This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
HENNY YOUNGMAN A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Doctor says to a man "You're pregnant!" The man says "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says ...
HENNY YOUNGMAN If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
HENNY YOUNGMAN She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Ştii ce înseamnă să vii acasă seara la o femeie care să îţi ofere dragoste, afecţiune şi u...
HENNY YOUNGMAN What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angele...
HENNY YOUNGMAN How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"
HENNY YOUNGMAN This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
HENNY YOUNGMAN Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
HENNY YOUNGMAN A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my...
HENNY YOUNGMAN Take my wife... Please!
HENNY YOUNGMAN I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that...
HENNY YOUNGMAN I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
HENNY YOUNGMAN The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
HENRY YOUNGMAN I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
HENRY YOUNGMAN Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little a...
HENRY YOUNGMAN I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back
HENRY YOUNGMAN If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.
HENRY YOUNGMAN I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock
HENRY YOUNGMAN When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say
HENRY YOUNGMAN My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENRY YOUNGMAN While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
HENRY YOUNGMAN A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
HENRY YOUNGMAN My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
HENRY YOUNGMAN When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
HENRY YOUNGMAN I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
HENRY YOUNGMAN When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
HENRY YOUNGMAN My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
HENRY YOUNGMAN You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
HENRY YOUNGMAN Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week...
HENRY YOUNGMAN I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
HENRY YOUNGMAN If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
HENRY YOUNGMAN Take my wife . . . . Please!
HENRY YOUNGMAN