Ryan is my bridge to the past, to memories that lose some of their sting when he recounts them.

The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.

As Peter Bogdanovich would say of Paper Moon: Ryan's wonderful in it, and he sat there and watched the kid steal the picture.

Ryan finally came to my rescue. He'd thought working together in Paper Moon would help us bond.

I remained Ryan's companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens.

Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.