Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Dave Barry
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Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting is the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.
SUN TZU Hard to restrain, unstable is this mind; it flits wherever it lists. Good it is to control the mind....
GAUTAMA BUDDHA Dave Barry Turns 50
DAVE BARRY Life can be tough & make you wanna give up. But baby keep your head up because you got all the time ...
LILLIAN S. VILORIA The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH DOROTHY PARKER I find him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of certain colours.
OSCAR WILDE Your life today is the result of a series of decisions you made that have caused you to arrive where...
CHRIS PRENTISS A strong personal philosophy does more than sustain us through the tragedies of life. It also stains...
CHRIS PRENTISS The answers are never "out there." All the answers are "in there," inside you, waiting to be discove...
CHRIS PRENTISS How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL Fortunately for me, I know well enough what I want, and am basically utterly indifferent to the crit...
VINCENT VAN GOGH She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word.
DIANA WYNNE JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a...
NEIL GAIMAN What is the Other?" they ask.
The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ...
PAULO COELHO To have the time to reminisce is one of the futures gifts. Don't think to much, don't live to fast, ...
CALVIN WILSON We are the masters of our own destinies we shape and mould our lives into to the circumstances surro...
GARY F EVANS... These young ones. They do not understand. There are so few of us left who remember how destructive r...
CONNILYN COSSETTE May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS... I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven princeling in! If it wer...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, wi...
THE BOOK OF THE DEAD When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in t...
THE WORK OF THE CHARIOT In the journey of life, certain paths may seem to be leading nowhere because of a mountain or hill o...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Loving someone who never loved you, is like remembering a face you never saw.
No matter how har...
RATISH EDWARDS There will be things I won't tell you ever ,
Then there will be things that you won't ever lis...
RATISH EDWARDS I wish I could see you some day,
Just for a moment, just see you,
I wish I could h...
RATISH EDWARDS The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can...
LEWIS N. ROE Here was one with an air of high nobility such as Aragorn at times revealed, less high perhaps, yet ...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II She herself is a haunted house. She does not possess herself; her ancestors sometimes come and peer ...
ANGELA CARTER The profound ability to use aural and written language has enabled our species to collectively explo...
KATHERINE VUCICEVIC No, sweet one. See, my precious: if we has it, then we can escape, even from Him, eh? Perhaps we gro...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are teaching them and ourselves how to suffe...
M. SCOTT PECK Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Po...
RICK RIORDAN We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want...
PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
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DAVE BARRY What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge ham...
DAVE BARRY I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
DAVE BARRY Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuc...
DAVE BARRY Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable ent...
DAVE BARRY Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant d...
DAVE BARRY I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks sh...
DAVE BARRY Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look...
DAVE BARRY There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his ...
DAVE BARRY The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winte...
DAVE BARRY It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
DAVE BARRY