Oh, I loathe weddings. I loathe sitting down and participating in inane conversations with proud parents and smug couples who all look like they might secretly hate each other.

Taking the first step should always bring you closer to your goal, unless you couldn't see the pane of glass so clearly hidden before you; as if to say "you never really had a chance".

Always be loyal to the ones you love. Because if you betray them, you've betrayed yourself..

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!

The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it.

The Irish are often nervous about having the appropriate face for the occasion. They have to be happy at weddings, which is a strain, so they get depressed; they have to be sad at funerals, which is easy, so they get happy.