Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it.

The Irish are often nervous about having the appropriate face for the occasion. They have to be happy at weddings, which is a strain, so they get depressed; they have to be sad at funerals, which is easy, so they get happy.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.