Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl

If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.

I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.