Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

Clothes Man Wedding

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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture

— Phyllis Diller

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

— Phyllis Diller

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

— Phyllis Diller

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For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.

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We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.

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