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In [The Mysterious Stranger, Mark Twain] proves to his own grim satisfaction, and to mine as well, that Satan and not God created the planet earth and “the damned human race.” If you doubt that, read your morning paper. Never mind what paper. Never mind what date.


Kurt Vonnegut

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I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not...
PATRICK MOORE A walk?" said Catharine.
"One foot in front of the other," said Newt, "through leaves, over bri...
KURT VONNEGUT JR. I never read. The paper or anything. I watch a lot of movies, and TV series and stuff. But I never, ...
ANDY MURRAY There are three versions of things: the one you see in your mind, the one that carries onto the pape...
JENNIFER LE What counts, in the long run, is not what you read; it is what you sift through your own mind; it is...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT What counts, in the long run, is not what you read; it is what you sift through your own mind; it is...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT I'm a pretty well-read person. I read my paper every morning.
TOM MCCARTHY And by the way, my dear,' he said, 'you might just mention to Mrs. Sutton that if she must read the ...
DOROTHY L. SAYERS Mind your mind, mind your time and mind your life! Life is just once and the real certainty or uncer...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I am quite sane, according to my three distinct personalities and my seven passive ones.
THE PAPER DOLL In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweet...
THE PAPER KITES Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
DYLAN MORAN I do not hail myself as an atheist, for I am not an atheist. In fact, I have met God, felt God and e...
ABHIJIT NASKAR As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The battle is not physical, it is spiritual and your mind is the battleground. Keep your mind pure a...
JEANETTE CORON I read the paper every day and the Bible every day; that way I know what both sides are up to.
ZIG ZIGLAR You should never ask, 'What would the readers like now?' Instead, you should ask, 'What ...
HAKAN NESSER Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to kee...
PAUL LYNDE Human believe what they want to believe and individual could believe according to his mind that why ...
ZAMAN ALI I read a lot of short fiction, like Kurt Vonnegut and Raymond Carver and Wells Tower.
LORDE I'm asking God to bless you with something that unsettles you, disturbs you, and upsets you.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Mind what you mind. Do not just open the door of your mind to anything at all you don’t want to mi...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Most errors consist only in our not rightly applying names to things. For when someone says that the...
BARUCH SPINOZA Because it's kind of great, being an idea that everybody likes. But I could never be the idea to mys...
JOHN GREEN Everything that we think God has in his mind necessarily proceeds from our own mind; it is what we i...
LIN YUTANG I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN Sometimes, how others look at it must not be how you should see it! Sometimes, how it means to other...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH What if you had seen haven open as Stephen did, and all the saints there triumphing in glory, and en...
RICHARD BAXTER He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. -Kurt Vonnegut.
KURT VONNEGUT The ultimate wisdom and source of it is the ability to see what God sees and connect your mind to Hi...
SUNDAY ADELAJA I really began to love to read while in high school, and my favorite authors were my heroes: J.D. Sa...
LOUIS SACHAR With pen and paper, I have written clever things. I have seen what it is to be a chief, a king, and ...
SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on Earth at a t...
PAUL HAWKEN The body's pain is so paper-thin and insignificant compared to that of the mind.
PETER HøEG Don't you ever think that your mind can never harm you just because it is your mind! Your mind can r...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Use your heart. Understand. Learn to see things
in the now, not as they were or will be, or as ...
E.J. PATTEN Come!’ said he, ‘I don’t want to be told about that.  I know what I took her for, as well as ...
CHARLES DICKENS Never mind what I told you -- you do as I tell you.
W. C. FIELDS To read your own mind is to look at your self and read your soul. Hatred becomes love and that is th...
RICHARD GERE I like racing against whoever is the best right now. If I win and no one's in the race, that makes m...
JEFF PERRELLA I am sure that God has given all his time in making you, the remaining human race has been created i...
AMIT KALANTRI God so loved the world that he made up his mind to damn a large majority of the human race
ROBERT GREEN INGERSOLL Keep your mind too open, and you never know what might walk in.
SIMON R. GREEN If you allow your enemy to steal your faith, he can destroy your life and ultimately kill your relat...
CRAIG GROESCHEL You loved me—then what right had you to leave me? What right—answer me—for the poor fancy you ...
EMILY BRONTë I am a nuclear physicist by training and a deeply committed Christian. I don't have any doubt in...
JIMMY CARTER There's only one lesson to be learned form life, anyway," interrupted Gloria, not in contradiction b...
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD I think if you were Satan and you were settin around tryin to think up somethin that would just brin...
CORMAC MCCARTHY What I say is that there are not half a dozen papers in the United States which tamper with the news...
JOSEPH PULITZER I sat down to read the paper and I opened it up to that story.
HEIDI NORAAS And these Things,
which live by perishing, know you are praising them; transient,
they lo...
RAINER MARIA RILKE Now is the time when you see people which you know... but they start ignoring you... and how do you ...
DEYTH BANGER The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you ar...
WILLIAM J. H. BOETCKER If I have the option, I always read the paper or a book or something I can touch and destroy in my o...
AUBREY PLAZA Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Al...
COLLEEN HOOVER I would say to always follow your dream. And dream big because my whole career, including any of the...
SIMONE BILES Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
GERARD WAY If you are a genius, you'll make your own rules, but if not - and the odds are against it - go t...
J. B. PRIESTLEY The danger of civilization, of course, is that you will piss away your life on nonsense.
JIM HARRISON I need to talk to (Ault) first. It's not fair for him to read in the paper what I am planning to do.
CARY GROTH Dehadhyas (the belief that ‘I am the body’) is to continue believing you are someone that you re...
DADA BHAGWAN Here is one fact 1 minute to finish the class, 1 day to die, one day behind that fact, one day in th...
DEYTH BANGER Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is fo...
MARK TWAIN Christianity is a life, not a doctrine . . . I'm not saying never doubt or question. The Lord gave y...
MARILYNNE ROBINSON The devil can get you through your flesh. He knows the button to press on your flesh and have a way ...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Mind is the master of this planet, and when that mind is not moral, not conscientious, not wise, it ...
ABHIJIT NASKAR Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him you...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you ...
MARGARET ATWOOD See? See what you can do? Never mind you can’t tell one letter from another, never mind you born a...
TONI MORRISON I argue in this paper that we are on the edge of change comparable to the rise of human life on Eart...
VERNOR VINGE You loved me-then what right had you to leave me? What right-answer me-for the poor fancy you felt f...
EMILY BRONTë As long as you look for a Buddha somewhere else, you'll never see that your own mind is the Buddha.
BODHIDHARMA I like the performing. And interviews, even. And the stuff that's not sitting in a room by yours...
RANDY NEWMAN Vents were added to the rear bonnet in 1972 and resulted in wet engines and starting problems, and t...
CHRISTINA ENGELA Let the people talk, let people doubt, and let
people question you, but never allow yourself to...
FORREST CURRAN I will never claim to know what you are thinking. I only hope I am on your mind.
AMANDA MOSHER Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the b...
GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON When I arrived the News was three years old and Ed Lotterman was on the verge of a breakdown. To hea...
HUNTER S. THOMPSON Treat the other man's faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his ...
HENRY S HASKINS Treat the other man's faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his o...
HENRY S. HASKINS If God be an infinite being, there cannot be, either in the present or future world, any relative pr...
BARON D'HOLBACH What goes into our mind matters a lot to the success or failure of our lives. For so many people, wh...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH What the teachers understand, students never understand and in the paper what we want them to unders...
HIMMILICIOUS The welfare of the planet and its environment is paramount. But what we do, and do equally and evenh...
HOWARD BAKER I never intended for it to come out like that. We hadn't even talked to the quarterbacks ... I was g...
FRANK BEAMER If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself.
OSWALD CHAMBERS Human is what he decides to be.
ZAMAN ALI If I try to understand what it means to be a Christian, I look at the two instructions that were giv...
BRUCE COCKBURN Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, ...
CHARLOTTE BRONTë The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will no...
CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON The Biggest Threat to our Democracy, Freedoms and Future is Leadership that fosters and Appeases the...
MICHAEL HARRIS Our parents are not the only people on this planet, and we should not base our life choices on what ...
LUKASZ LANIECKI Success is peace of mind, a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing that you did your best to ...
JOHN WOODEN People ask me 'what was going through your mind in the race?' and I don't know. I try and let my bod...
IAN THORPE You open the paper and read these things that happen to people. Totally random.
TOM LEHMAN I never talk back. I listen and always remember your every word, so come pen or mouse, never forget ...
L.M. FIELDS

More Kurt Vonnegut

My cash cows, the slick magazines, were put out of business by TV.
KURT VONNEGUT I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the ki...
KURT VONNEGUT Oh, sure, we have another world war coming, and another great depression, but where are the leaders ...
KURT VONNEGUT Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been...
KURT VONNEGUT If you are an American, you must allow all ideas to circulate freely in your community, not merely y...
KURT VONNEGUT There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
KURT VONNEGUT I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
KURT VONNEGUT I let the dog out, or I let him in, and we talk some. I let him know I like him, and he lets me know...
KURT VONNEGUT If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
KURT VONNEGUT I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
KURT VONNEGUT Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudic...
KURT VONNEGUT What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thin...
KURT VONNEGUT Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself. But mankind wasn't always so ...
KURT VONNEGUT People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll h...
KURT VONNEGUT If somebody says, I love you, to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can an...
KURT VONNEGUT I get up at 7:30 and work four hours a day. Nine to twelve in the morning, five to six in the evenin...
KURT VONNEGUT Thinking doesn't seem to help very much. The human brain is too high-powered to have many practical ...
KURT VONNEGUT What war has always been is a puberty ceremony. It's a very rough one, but you went away a boy and c...
KURT VONNEGUT The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowled...
KURT VONNEGUT Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we've got a lot more beef steak than any othe...
KURT VONNEGUT ... this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so inc...
KURT VONNEGUT The feeling about a soldier is, when all is said and done, he wasn't really going to do very much wi...
KURT VONNEGUT We are all what we pretend to be, but, we had better be very careful what we pretend.
KURT VONNEGUT I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a ver...
KURT VONNEGUT I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds o...
KURT VONNEGUT We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than befo...
KURT VONNEGUT People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order, so they'll have...
KURT VONNEGUT There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos inste...
KURT VONNEGUT There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
KURT VONNEGUT I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled Science Fiction and I would like out, par...
KURT VONNEGUT Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT Artists use frauds to make human beings seem more wonderful than they really are. Dancers show us hu...
KURT VONNEGUT There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, I said, but no good reason ever to have without reser...
KURT VONNEGUT Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but...
KURT VONNEGUT It was a thunderingly beautiful experience -- voluptuous, sexual, dangerous, and expensive as hell.
KURT VONNEGUT We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrol...
KURT VONNEGUT Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.
KURT VONNEGUT Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this messag...
KURT VONNEGUT Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to rem...
KURT VONNEGUT I have no degree in biochemistry, neither do I have one in mechanical engineering, as the Army saw f...
KURT VONNEGUT True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the countr...
KURT VONNEGUT What troubles me most about my lovely country is that its children are seldom taught that American f...
KURT VONNEGUT Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since...
KURT VONNEGUT We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.
KURT VONNEGUT There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of ...
KURT VONNEGUT I think a lot of people, including me, clammed up when a civilian asked about battle, about war. It ...
KURT VONNEGUT There is never a shortage anywhere of lawyers eager to attack the First Amendment, as though it were...
KURT VONNEGUT I now make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it.
KURT VONNEGUT If you appear in the 'Atlantic' or 'Harper's' or the 'New Yorker,' by Go...
KURT VONNEGUT It is a big temptation to me, when I create a character for a novel, to say that he is what he is be...
KURT VONNEGUT About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilitie...
KURT VONNEGUT It was very lucky for me as a writer that I studied the physical sciences rather than English. I wro...
KURT VONNEGUT I am honorary President of the American Humanist Society, having succeeded the late, great science f...
KURT VONNEGUT This is Sunday, and the question arises, what'll I start tomorrow?
KURT VONNEGUT Evolution can go to hell as far as I am concerned. What a mistake we are. We have mortally wounded t...
KURT VONNEGUT The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Pra...
KURT VONNEGUT I was not an anthropology student prior to the war. I took it up as part of a personal readjustment ...
KURT VONNEGUT I think big business is a terrible thing for the spirit of the country, as our spirit is the best th...
KURT VONNEGUT When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been...
KURT VONNEGUT The feeling about a soldier is, when all is said and done, he wasn't really going to do very muc...
KURT VONNEGUT Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. -Kurt Vonnegut.
KURT VONNEGUT People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God.
KURT VONNEGUT I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a...
KURT VONNEGUT I was a chemistry major, but I'm always winding up as a teacher in English departments, so I'...
KURT VONNEGUT I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
KURT VONNEGUT Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
KURT VONNEGUT I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
KURT VONNEGUT Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the char...
KURT VONNEGUT The chief weapon of sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe,...
KURT VONNEGUT New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the rich...
KURT VONNEGUT 1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began l...
KURT VONNEGUT I think that novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresente...
KURT VONNEGUT Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.
KURT VONNEGUT Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite herma...
KURT VONNEGUT There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. Th...
KURT VONNEGUT Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either...
KURT VONNEGUT One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have ...
KURT VONNEGUT Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than befo...
KURT VONNEGUT Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
KURT VONNEGUT Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terri...
KURT VONNEGUT Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but...
KURT VONNEGUT If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
KURT VONNEGUT Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than befo...
KURT VONNEGUT Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person...
KURT VONNEGUT I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at le...
KURT VONNEGUT I am eternally grateful.. for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, rea...
KURT VONNEGUT How nice--to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
KURT VONNEGUT All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It si...
KURT VONNEGUT Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in ...
KURT VONNEGUT A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
KURT VONNEGUT Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to co...
KURT VONNEGUT We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The...
KURT VONNEGUT During my three years in Vietnam, I certainly heard plenty of last words by dying American footsoldi...
KURT VONNEGUT Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintena...
KURT VONNEGUT Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to ...
KURT VONNEGUT Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remed...
KURT VONNEGUT I want to congratulate librarians,...who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democr...
KURT VONNEGUT I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnie...
KURT VONNEGUT Puny man can do nothing at all to help or please God Almighty, and Luck is not the hand of God.
KURT VONNEGUT I had no talent for science. What was infinitely worse: all my fraternity brothers were engineers.
KURT VONNEGUT All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It si...
KURT VONNEGUT Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudic...
KURT VONNEGUT Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
KURT VONNEGUT The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet...
KURT VONNEGUT Science sent the Hubble telescope out into space, so it could capture light and the absence thereof,...
KURT VONNEGUT As a Humanist, I love science. I hate superstition, which could never have given us A-bombs.
KURT VONNEGUT The statue was of a nude woman playing a slide trombone. It was entitles, enigmatically, Evelyn and ...
KURT VONNEGUT I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read 'Democracy in America' by Alexis de Tocquevil...
KURT VONNEGUT Younger scientists are extremely sensitive to the moral implications of all they do.
KURT VONNEGUT All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old...
KURT VONNEGUT To be is to do - Socrates

To do is to be - Sartre

Do Be Do Be Do - Sinatra
KURT VONNEGUT Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet an...
KURT VONNEGUT If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do...
KURT VONNEGUT But I have to say this in defense of humankind: In no matter what era in history, including the Gard...
KURT VONNEGUT And I apologize to all of you who are the same age as my grandchildren. And many of you reading this...
KURT VONNEGUT Our government's got a war on drugs. That's certainly better then no drugs at all.
KURT VONNEGUT Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautifu...
KURT VONNEGUT If you actually are an educated, thinking person, you will not be welcome in Washington, D.C. I know...
KURT VONNEGUT Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed peopl...
KURT VONNEGUT Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. ...
KURT VONNEGUT Socialism" is no more an evil word than "Christianity." Socialism no more prescribed Joseph Stalin a...
KURT VONNEGUT I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantalo...
KURT VONNEGUT The biggest truth to face now – what is probably making me unfunny now for the remainder of my lif...
KURT VONNEGUT When a couple has an argument nowadays they may think it s about money or power or sex or how to rai...
KURT VONNEGUT I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that...
KURT VONNEGUT I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds ...
KURT VONNEGUT Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God. It is so extraordinarily full of magic, and in tough...
KURT VONNEGUT So I went to New York City to be born again. It was and remains easy for most Americans to go somewh...
KURT VONNEGUT That is how you get to be a writer, incidentally: you feel somehow marginal, somehow slightly off-ba...
KURT VONNEGUT The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybod...
KURT VONNEGUT Until you die .. it's all life.
KURT VONNEGUT Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.
KURT VONNEGUT We could have saved [the Earth] but we were too damned cheap.
KURT VONNEGUT All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.
KURT VONNEGUT You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to so...
KURT VONNEGUT Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
KURT VONNEGUT And so it goes...
KURT VONNEGUT It may be that the most striking thing about members of my literary generation in retrospect will be...
KURT VONNEGUT So, in the interests of survival, they trained themselves to be agreeing machines instead of thinkin...
KURT VONNEGUT I am from a family of artists. Here I am, making a living in the arts. It has not been a rebellion. ...
KURT VONNEGUT If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE...
KURT VONNEGUT For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, o...
KURT VONNEGUT The fortifications have never been attacked, nor has any sane man ever proposed any reason why they ...
KURT VONNEGUT Bertrand Russell declared that, in case he met God, he would say to Him, "Sir, you did not give us e...
KURT VONNEGUT Be aware of this truth that the people on this earth could be joyous, if only they would live ration...
KURT VONNEGUT The most radical, audacious thing to think is that there might be some point to working hard and thi...
KURT VONNEGUT Fear hadn’t come to him yet. Pain hadn’t come where pain would come. There was only the feeling ...
KURT VONNEGUT And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
KURT VONNEGUT I still catch myself feeling blue about things that don't matter anymore.
KURT VONNEGUT There was a still life on Billy's bedside table-two pills, an ashtray with three lipstick-stained ci...
KURT VONNEGUT The book was Maniacs in the Fourth Dimension, by Kilgore Trout. It was about people whose mental dis...
KURT VONNEGUT There is one other book, that can teach you everything you need to know about life... it's The Broth...
KURT VONNEGUT All this happened, more or less.
KURT VONNEGUT Here's the news: I am going to sue the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company, manufacturers of Pall...
KURT VONNEGUT Only in books do we learn what’s really going on.
KURT VONNEGUT The truth is, we know so little about life, we don't really know what the good news is and what the ...
KURT VONNEGUT Life is no way to treat an animal.
KURT VONNEGUT A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.
KURT VONNEGUT To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.
KURT VONNEGUT In case you haven't noticed, as the result of a shamelessly rigged election in Florida, in which tho...
KURT VONNEGUT I wanted all things
To seem to make some sense,
So we could all be happy, yes,
Instea...
KURT VONNEGUT Here is a lesson in creative writing.

First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transve...
KURT VONNEGUT Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn't...
KURT VONNEGUT I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
KURT VONNEGUT And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'I...
KURT VONNEGUT Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got t...
KURT VONNEGUT If somebody says 'I love you' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can an...
KURT VONNEGUT All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.
KURT VONNEGUT Live by the foma* that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.

*Harmless untruths
KURT VONNEGUT profanity and obscenity entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their ears and...
KURT VONNEGUT Sometimes I think that's the trouble with the world: too many people in high places who are stone-co...
KURT VONNEGUT One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or...
KURT VONNEGUT The church, which squatted among the headstones like a wet mother dodo, had been at various times Pr...
KURT VONNEGUT This person has just arrived on this planet, knows nothing about it, has no standards by which to ju...
KURT VONNEGUT My advice to writers just starting out? Don't use semi-colons! They are transvestite hermaphrodites,...
KURT VONNEGUT People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God.
KURT VONNEGUT Vietnam was an exercise in mistaken idealism; Iraq in cynical money-making. And there's no optimism ...
KURT VONNEGUT I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the ki...
KURT VONNEGUT This is a beguiling book,
KURT VONNEGUT and I'm whistling as beautifully as I can.
KURT VONNEGUT Here is the solution to the American drug problem suggested a couple years back by the wife of our P...
KURT VONNEGUT The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.
KURT VONNEGUT The human beings also passed canteens, which guards would fill with water. When food came in, the hu...
KURT VONNEGUT What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as gla...
KURT VONNEGUT Well, I know," she said. "You'll pretend you were men instead of babies, and you'll be played in the...
KURT VONNEGUT I am a very bad scientist. I will do anything to make a human being feel better, even if it's unscie...
KURT VONNEGUT The troops and their ladies had first drunk champagne. There were also remains of sandwiches, and I ...
KURT VONNEGUT Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It m...
KURT VONNEGUT It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead.
KURT VONNEGUT I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagian...
KURT VONNEGUT Swoopers write a story quickly, higgledy-piggledy, crinkum-crankum, any which way. Then they go over...
KURT VONNEGUT The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless...
KURT VONNEGUT Don't worry about your father. He's a perfectly contented, self-sufficient zombie.
KURT VONNEGUT How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
KURT VONNEGUT If you can do no good, at least do no harm.
KURT VONNEGUT Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, sh...
KURT VONNEGUT There are no telegraphs on Tralfamadore. But you're right: each clump of symbols is a brief, urgent ...
KURT VONNEGUT Unfortunately, that still leaves plenty of Americans who don't read much or think much -- who will s...
KURT VONNEGUT