If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

I bet it's hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like "Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar."

If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled up tobacco leaves