I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and ...
TINA FEY You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad...
TINA FEY ...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's bus...
TINA FEY Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio arou...
TINA FEY Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In wha...
TINA FEY Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.
TINA FEY Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.
TINA FEY Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty t...
TINA FEY If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you...
TINA FEY When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the fol...
TINA FEY You have to let people see what you wrote. It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfe...
TINA FEY Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They we...
TINA FEY An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of ...
TINA FEY If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking acto...
TINA FEY I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people w...
TINA FEY When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Ro...
TINA FEY When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was ...
TINA FEY I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a...
TINA FEY Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady a...
TINA FEY Sometimes people expect that I'm going to be tough. It's not a bad situation. People treat y...
TINA FEY I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the ba...
TINA FEY Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. U...
TINA FEY When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I...
TINA FEY The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, a...
TINA FEY I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with m...
TINA FEY And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women -...
TINA FEY I like to delude myself that I'm in the old-Hollywood mode. I just tailor my clothes well and tr...
TINA FEY THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities.
TINA FEY It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time.
TINA FEY If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
TINA FEY When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. no one e...
TINA FEY Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing ...
TINA FEY To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you're adding something to the ...
TINA FEY It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you loo...
TINA FEY In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be ...
TINA FEY In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way. In o...
TINA FEY I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control si...
TINA FEY I have a suspicion that the definition of "crazy" in show business is a woman who keeps talking even...
TINA FEY Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
TINA FEY You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, ...
TINA FEY When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays...
TINA FEY For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it w...
TINA FEY My favorite day at '30 Rock' is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episode...
TINA FEY I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
TINA FEY I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though ...
TINA FEY That's the kind of trouble you get when diverse groups of people actually cross paths with one anoth...
TINA FEY MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No on...
TINA FEY This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. ...
TINA FEY By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine...
TINA FEY I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Comple...
TINA FEY So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or l...
TINA FEY Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointin...
TINA FEY Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinion...
TINA FEY It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is ...
TINA FEY You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down ...
TINA FEY I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom's only i...
TINA FEY But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That w...
TINA FEY I find, the fancier the fashion magazine is, the worse the Photoshop. It’s as if they are already ...
TINA FEY A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tel...
TINA FEY First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU lo...
TINA FEY This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't wan...
TINA FEY In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
TINA FEY President Bush unveiled his new economic stimulus plan this week. It was reported that if the plan p...
TINA FEY I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I m...
TINA FEY I was a mostly happy child, though I had a pretty rough puberty. Growing up as a girl is always trau...
TINA FEY I had definitely never heard of anyone peeing in a cup and leaving it in their own office on a books...
TINA FEY Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking ...
TINA FEY Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really h...
TINA FEY To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair...
TINA FEY If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?
TINA FEY Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love...
TINA FEY I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don�...
TINA FEY Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people b...
TINA FEY President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touchin...
TINA FEY At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cance...
TINA FEY I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
TINA FEY The first time I went to see a Second City show, I was in awe of everything. I just wanted to touch ...
TINA FEY I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into ...
TINA FEY I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though I haven'...
TINA FEY If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the sta...
TINA FEY An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of ...
TINA FEY I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in...
TINA FEY Union
TINA FEY I had to get back to work,
TINA FEY I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflect...
TINA FEY In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say "sc...
TINA FEY Researches reported that they developed a "self-healing" plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The...
TINA FEY Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law,...
TINA FEY A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tel...
TINA FEY In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school student...
TINA FEY I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.
TINA FEY I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah.
TINA FEY We're all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn't let me watch stuff that was e...
TINA FEY It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest ...
TINA FEY I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it'll recede. In fact, I know it will. Tha...
TINA FEY I remember failing my Princeton interview. My mom wanted me to apply because ever since I was a kid ...
TINA FEY I hire the most talented of people who are the least likely to throw a punch in the workplace.
TINA FEY We work long hours at these shows, and no matter how funny someone's writing sample is, if they are ...
TINA FEY Don't hire anyone you wouldn't want to run into in the hallway at three in the morning.
TINA FEY Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, the...
TINA FEY What Turning Forty Means to Me

I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn'...
TINA FEY Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you lo...
TINA FEY You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.
TINA FEY I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was ...
TINA FEY When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from...
TINA FEY Pilot scripts are particularly difficult to write because you have to introduce all the characters w...
TINA FEY Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work ...
TINA FEY Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces...
TINA FEY You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's l...
TINA FEY Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that “wome...
TINA FEY ...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says...
TINA FEY [T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to...
TINA FEY Austin played a great game. He did a nice job of hitting shots when we needed them. It was the best ...
JOEL FEY This was a great road win for us. I thought it was one of the better games we've played all year. Of...
JOEL FEY We're a lot better than we were when we played them in December. We did more things right than we di...
JOEL FEY I'm sure not a lot of rivalries date back that far. The players and the fans really get into it. The...
JOEL FEY We played as hard as any team I have seen this year for six minutes. It was fun to watch, but we are...
JOEL FEY Honestly, I thought this was the best we've played all year. I feel pretty good about tomorrow night...
JOEL FEY At halftime I said we've played three really good halves of basketball. We didn't get that fourth ha...
JOEL FEY They hit a couple of baskets and we went into a shell. We didn't have a guy who demands the basketba...
JOEL FEY Todd is finally playing to his potential. We have been waiting awhile to see it, but it seems he's s...
JOEL FEY It was great to get back on the winning side, especially on the road. We played tough late and we we...
JOEL FEY That was the difference right there. You're not going to win too many ball games shooting like that ...
JOEL FEY In the first 51 seconds (of the fourth quarter) we had those turnovers and (their lead) went from si...
JOEL FEY Tate played a great game. Not only his scoring, but he had steals in big spots. He scored and he got...
JOEL FEY I think it (the sell-off) was very overdone. For some of these companies, the fundamentals remain ve...
GRACE FEY My sense from just this brief analysis is we may avoid a rate hike in August. If you believe the eco...
GRACE FEY This is their job, and they're paid as we sell their work. And it's pure art. They have no formal tr...
CHERYL FEY I'm a bit worried about the consumer; that's one area that could be pinched.
GRACE FEY I think the worry is they are going to say something negative about the third quarter.
GRACE FEY It seems to be more of the same.
GRACE FEY I do think that guidance is going to be key.
GRACE FEY I wouldn't be surprised to see (the Dow) trend lower because markets don't trend up in a time of ris...
GRACE FEY The market can begin to repair itself in this kind of environment. We're making a very nice bottom h...
GRACE FEY The large cap tech stocks in particular are really looking very, very attractive right now. At the m...
GRACE FEY I think that the market - once we get through this interest rate fear and we're more certain about t...
GRACE FEY This year has really been a small- and mid-cap market, particularly on the value side. I think 2005 ...
GRACE FEY It's definitely a struggle to prove yourself just as a good human being. I'm so proud of who...
TINA YOTHERS I know the difference between black magic and white magic.
TINA TURNER I've been in this business my whole life. I'm pretty bulletproof as far as being hurt.
TINA YOTHERS It's a cruel, heartless world out there in commercial rock 'n' roll, and when you take a...
TINA WEYMOUTH What is new is the multiplying reach and volume of the Internet, concentrating the toxicity of destr...
TINA BROWN I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not old yet!
TINA TURNER Orion:“Where shall I shoot him?”
Eros grinned. “Considering he won’t even feel the arro...
TINA FOLSOM Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . w...
TINA TURNER Physical strength in a woman -- that's what I am.
TINA TURNER I had an amazing experience working with great people. I had a great family, a typical family with d...
TINA YOTHERS People never cease to amaze me.
TINA YOTHERS Who was Amanda Knox? Was she a fresh-faced honor student from Seattle who met anyone's definitio...
TINA BROWN 'The Daily Beast' competes in the highly Darwinian media world filled with hyper-smart, high...
TINA BROWN I regret not having had more time with my kids when they were growing up.
TINA TURNER Editorial outfits are now advertising agencies.
TINA BROWN I don't want to be dragging myself on stage, year in year out, until someone else tells me it is...
TINA TURNER I'm pleased with my life, with the journey.
TINA TURNER This is what I want in heaven... words to become notes and conversations to be symphonies.
TINA TURNER I believe in prayer and in strong belief.
TINA TURNER In Tennessee where I grew up, there were animals, farms, wagons, mules.
TINA TURNER I always had long legs. When I was young, I used to think, 'Why do I look like a little pony?...
TINA TURNER I didn't have anybody, really, no foundation in life, so I had to make my own way. Always, from ...
TINA TURNER Physical strength in a woman - that's what I am.
TINA TURNER I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not old yet!
TINA TURNER But I believe we have a higher level of mentality within us, but we have to use the power in the rig...
TINA TURNER So when it came to role models, I looked at presidents' wives. Of course, you're talking abo...
TINA TURNER For me the goddess is the female of God, She is powerful if different.
TINA TURNER People think my life has been tough, but I think has been a wonderful journey. The older you get, th...
TINA TURNER There comes a point where it is just undignified to be a rock 'n' roll star.
TINA TURNER I am attracted to myths.
TINA TURNER You take your problems to a god, but what you really need is for the god to take you to the inside o...
TINA TURNER As I grew up, I learned what worked for me. That's where the short dresses came from. And you ca...
TINA TURNER I'm not wise, but the beginning of wisdom is there; it's like relaxing into - and an accepta...
TINA TURNER I'm self-made. I always wanted to make myself a better person, because I was not educated. But t...
TINA TURNER Delhi came as a shock. There were so many people, and oh, the traffic.
TINA TURNER My legacy is that I stayed on course... from the beginning to the end, because I believed in somethi...
TINA TURNER Age is no issue to me. I think 50 is the new 30 and 70 is the new 50. There are no rules that say yo...
TINA TURNER I believe that if you'll just stand up and go, life will open up for you.
TINA TURNER Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything... ...
TINA TURNER I never close a door on any other religion. Most of the time, some part of it makes sense to me. I d...
TINA TURNER It's as if inside the White House the belief in Obama's inspirational charisma is still such...
TINA BROWN There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come throu...
TINA YOTHERS Practices such as arranged marriages and restrictions on girls attending school have deep roots, and...
TINA BROWN Obama has figured out the best method to prepare the way for his verbal Houdini acts: Use political ...
TINA BROWN Magazine articles are the new books.
TINA BROWN I wasn't originally a bass player. I just found out I was needed, because everyone wants to play...
TINA WEYMOUTH It is ironic that American women now need to be fortified by the inspiration of the women of the Ara...
TINA BROWN It was Barry Diller's idea to start 'The Daily Beast,' and he has turned out to be the b...
TINA BROWN Obama's great asset has always been an ability to maintain his air of authority without being ba...
TINA BROWN What America is thirsting for now is a battalion of strong, down-to-earth 'doers' - managers...
TINA BROWN Perhaps Obama is often slow to nail controversies because he needs time to live inside them for a wh...
TINA BROWN I'm trying to be entertaining without being mean.
TINA BROWN My greatest beauty secret is being happy with myself. I don't use special creams or treatments -...
TINA TURNER Glenn Beck is Rush redux - Limbaugh with liposuction, partying like it's still 1993.
TINA BROWN No one is asking for an Oprah in Chief. Anyhow, Obama is too chilly by nature ever to be convincing ...
TINA BROWN To win respect, the networks seem to feel they have to keep absurdly overstating their anchors' ...
TINA BROWN TV journalism is a much more collaborative, horizontal business than print reporting. It has to be, ...
TINA BROWN In fact, my parents were church people; my father was a deacon in the church.
TINA TURNER Until 1869, when they were banned, debtors' prisons were the great incinerators of British reput...
TINA BROWN One common denominator of super-affluent alpha men is the conviction, unchallenged every day, that t...
TINA BROWN To people I know in the bottom income brackets, living paycheck to paycheck, the Gig Economy has bee...
TINA BROWN For Sarah Palin, the least experienced on the world stage, the stress of maintaining the fiction tha...
TINA BROWN