If the U.N. didn't exist, we'd be inventing it right now.


Sam Farr

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If we didn't get the record, we didn't exist.
BARRY MANN
It used to be that if you stood in front of a painting you didn't understand, you'd have som...
DAVE HICKEY
Everything in life, bad or good, makes you change and grow - happily, because if it didn't, we&#...
EMMANUELLE SEIGNER
If these theatres didn't exist, the tradition of British theatre would cease to exist.
DAVID SOUL
So if I was dating somebody now and the relationship didn't work out, I'd take that as faili...
GAVIN DEGRAW
When I was born in 1920, the auto was only 20 years old. Radio didn't exist. TV didn't exist...
RAY BRADBURY
Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents a...
JAMIE DIMON
When I began writing, I didn't read any other children's poets... I didn't want to be in...
JACK PRELUTSKY
The intellectual tradition is one of servility to power, and if I didn't betray it I'd be as...
NOAM CHOMSKY
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN
Many are the things I guess we'd like to go back in time and rectify the things we didn't do...
JULIUS SCHWARTZ
I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia.
MARAT SAFIN
If I probably didn't have tattoos, or if I probably didn't bleach my hair, or if I probably ...
GUY FIERI
Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON
Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH
I didn't think I'd be around 30 years later.
SAMMY HAGAR
I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX
If my father's business hadn't gone broke, I'd be exporting nuts, bolts and sugar machin...
CESAR ROMERO
The Internet exposes a diversity of opinion, experience, and taste we'd been led to believe didn...
VIRGINIA POSTREL
If someone asked me to do something I didn't want to do or didn't think was right, I wouldn&...
CARLENE CARTER
I don't like drum solos, to be honest with you, but if anybody ever told me he didn't like B...
CHARLIE WATTS
It was helpful to have the American troops there in great strength. They knew there'd be consequ...
WARREN CHRISTOPHER
I try and take lots of vitamins and I don't drink. I do smoke, though, I'd be insufferable i...
KATE BECKINSALE
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
MITCH HEDBERG
I always felt the play came first. If it didn't touch me, I'd say forget the part.
ELIZABETH WILSON
If at noon you sit down and there's just silence or blank tape, in an hour if you have a song, t...
EDDIE VEDDER
I didn't hang around films. I don't know if I'd ever seen Hitchcock's The Lady Vanis...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
For quite a while, it didn't feel right. How could I feel joy when I lost the love of my life? I...
TAYA KYLE
I'm a sappy mom now. I didn't think I would be. I thought I'd be a cool mom who keeps ev...
KATHERINE HEIGL
We felt if we didn't have new material in us and we didn't have a real reason to exist, then...
ANDY TAYLOR
It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN
I'd sing all day, every day, all the time if I thought it didn't sound like dying cats.
TAYLOR JENKINS REID
It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if we didn't have a salary cap.
JERRY JONES
It's harder to be angry at home when we lose. When it was just me and the missus, she didn't...
HARRY KANE
I always wanted to be a doctor and go to art school, but I thought I'd regret it if I didn't...
KATE ASHFIELD
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.
JANE SIBERRY
I didn't have a thing to do with picking a coach, and didn't want to. But I didn't think...
BEAR BRYANT
We believed that there's no such thing as good art or bad art. Art is art. If it's bad, it&#...
BILLY AL BENGSTON
I have a strong sense of responsibility. I like to be directed, it's true. If I didn't like ...
CATHERINE DENEUVE
If you were summoned for jury duty and you didn't show up, what would happen? You'd be in ja...
TREY GOWDY
I always felt like I was kind of an outsider because I didn't have the right things. I didn'...
LEAH REMINI
I still wanted to see the family come back to life. And when that didn't transpire from the musi...
RAEKWON
If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
GEORGE GOBEL
I'm not saying that the gas chambers didn't exist. I couldn't see them myself.
JEAN-MARIE LE PEN
They basically said that if I didn't show up for school they'd mark me present, they wouldn&...
DAVE VAN RONK
Right now I'm so old that if I had a big gush of money, I don't know what I'd do with it...
JACK VANCE
It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON
Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON
I'd rather say no and have said no and do say no often. I walk away from projects if it doesn...
BLAIR UNDERWOOD
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
JOAN RIVERS
If we'd beaten 'em, I wouldn't be going out.
BEAR BRYANT
MTV didn't exist in 1980, but by 1982, it had gotten to be a force to be reckoned with.
NICK RHODES
If I hadn't gone to Stanford, I'd be working at P&G now.
VICTOR KOO
There's a smugness that goes with being a huge company. The big fish say, 'If it's so gr...
WOODY NORRIS
I was about to get a degree in economics when I accepted that I'd be a lousy businessman, and if...
PETER GALLAGHER
Every time I show up to do something here it's considered a comeback. If I came into town and th...
SHEENA EASTON
Every single thing you see on-screen came out of somebody's creativity. It doesn't exist. Na...
JEFFREY KATZENBERG
If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
RAY ROMANO
If they didn't have an Oscar for people to shoot for, all they'd do is be making 'Dumb A...
ROBERT OSBORNE
We wouldn't have done it if we didn't think we could have fun with it.
ETHAN COEN
I lend people money, but I'd never lend something that would jeopardise a friendship if I didn&#...
PALOMA FAITH
Comedy always pushes some buttons, because it wouldn't be comedy if it didn't.
BETH BEHRS
If it were said that I didn't fulfil my potential as a mother and wife, I'd be heartbroken. ...
DIANA RIGG
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen r...
JOHNNY CARSON
Although at the time I didn't realize what was happening, I was unable to make a decision that m...
KATHARINE GRAHAM
I was tormented with guilt for years and years. In fact, it was so bad that if I didn't feel wro...
JOYCE MEYER
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no ...
ROBERT ORBEN
We even did a re-imagining of 'Spider-Man' that James Franco starred in that didn't make...
CRAIG ROBINSON
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
AL BOLISKA
The young Steve Jobs had a hard time articulating something that didn't exist. He could see it, ...
JOSHUA MICHAEL STERN
Most of the people in Ghana wouldn't know me as an actress. They'd know me for my work at th...
SHIRLEY TEMPLE
It's a healthy thing to get some bad criticism. I'm still here and I'm fine, but I'd...
KEELEY HAWES
Magic: The Gathering is like Dungeons and Dragons if D&D was played with cards and didn't ta...
MARYJANICE DAVIDSON
That's the great paradox of living on this earth, that in the midst of great pain you can have g...
KATHY MATTEA
We will go on tour, that will be a boost for me. After that I can focus on LaToya. If I didn't h...
LATOYA LONDON
I like that in 'Caprica' the virtual world is a new thing. The parents didn't have that ...
MAGDA APANOWICZ
If I didn't believe in what I'm doing, I'd rather go to work in a dime store.
NATALIE WOOD
I've never heard Donald Trump say that he watches 'House of Cards,' but I'd be reall...
MICHAEL KELLY
Be patient - if something is supposed to happen, it's going to happen. Whenever I've tried t...
CHIARA FERRAGNI
You'd have to be daft as a brush to say you didn't like Pink Floyd.
JOHN LYDON
I like Ryan Gosling from the inside. I think he's a beautiful person, and then if you didn't...
ASHTON MOIO
We're actually making stuff in America now. We're exporting stuff. We're inventing thing...
AMY KLOBUCHAR
If I didn't make it in baseball, I won't have made it workin'. I didn't like to work...
YOGI BERRA
I remember telling the head of Warner Brothers that if they'd just make a video for 'Ol'...
BLAKE SHELTON
I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'...
JO BRAND
I look at my jersey and see the NBA logo, I'm like, 'I didn't think I'd be here.'...
KEVIN DURANT
I wish I had never got manic depression. When I was in junior high, I didn't know what was the m...
DANIEL JOHNSTON
I'd be derelict in my duty if I didn't go and continue to use every advantage that I can to ...
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
When I was going into inventing, it wasn't a dream the way someone goes into nursing or dancing....
JOY MANGANO
We tried - we tried for a year, and we tried different methods and different - and I had in vitro an...
CHERYL TIEGS
If we don't fear God, it's because we don't know God.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
When we moved, we knew this was here, ... If we had a preference, we’d prefer it didn’t be here, b...
ED TOWNSEND
'The X-Files,' as I recall, we didn't know really what we were until the middle of the f...
DAVID DUCHOVNY
I figured, if I failed, I'd tried something that I hadn't tried before and if one movie was ...
ELIZABETH PENA
You can't be what you don't see. I didn't think about being a doctor. I didn't even ...
JOYCELYN ELDERS
We didn't exist. Ronald Reagan didn't say the word 'AIDS' until 1987. I've tried...
LARRY KRAMER
For many years, I didn't feel I'd find anything that I'd like as much as 'Twin Peaks...
SHERILYN FENN
As soon as I finished 'The Finkler Question,' I was in despair. I'd changed my English p...
HOWARD JACOBSON
Even if we were to stop putting out greenhouse gases right now, we'd still face decades of warmi...
JAMAIS CASCIO

More Sam Farr

When I was in the California legislature in the '80s, the organic growers, who were sort of the ...
SAM FARR
Peace Corps helps promote global acceptance of the principles of international peace and non-violent...
SAM FARR
To make agriculture sustainable, the grower has got to be able to make a profit.
SAM FARR
[Monterey County] is geographically suited for this kind of industrial development, ... Fort Ord fit...
SAM FARR
If anybody sees the work at the Defense Language Institute and the Naval Postgraduate School, they c...
SAM FARR
We're elated,
SAM FARR
What I would do is bring that money home and invest it in education,
SAM FARR
This is really exciting news to a community that was hard-hit in the early '90s with the loss of For...
SAM FARR
You're more interested in a political message than you are in solving the problem,
SAM FARR
You know what's nice about Montreal? Not only is it a beautiful city, but you have Cuban cigars.
JAMIE FARR
I'm looking forward to going over there tomorrow night and playing a big game. I'm hoping the crowd'...
BRANDON FARR
Defense is what has killed us. The games that we've won, our defense has been outstanding and the ga...
BRANDON FARR
It's just something where we are trying to get back on track. It was tough to lose, especially on Su...
BRANDON FARR
We were trying to get some young guys some work, guys who hadn't been getting as many innings on the...
BRANDON FARR
A difference, to be a difference, must make a difference.
JAMES FARR
The benefits from stardom as Klinger outweigh any setbacks. It's a double-edged sword. What make...
JAMIE FARR
If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane ...
CHARLES FARR
An earnings boost doesn't trump a contrary verdict.
MICHAEL FARR
From an early age, I was infatuated with music. I always loved it and was always dancing or playing ...
TYLER FARR
I listen to Lil Wayne, and then I listen to Merle Haggard.
TYLER FARR
It was out of favor two months ago in this short-term mentality market. They're growing earnings. Th...
MICHAEL FARR
It puts the Federal Reserve in a bit of a conundrum.
MICHAEL FARR
I don't mind putting my heart out there for the audience, and for the country music fans... to b...
TYLER FARR
This is the very reason people said they wanted change is to quit doing this stuff, and here we are ...
BOB FARR
This bill doesn't interfere with what parents teach their kids, but what it does do is prevent paren...
BOB FARR
It's a controlled happiness. One of my concerns was the defense and it's been erratic.
DAVE FARR
I used to teach acting in a maximum security men's prison. I worked with guys with the most dysf...
DIANE FARR
Right now bonds are reacting, and perhaps overreacting, to employment and CPI. What we will probably...
DORSEY FARR
We got off to such a raging start this year, it was hard to believe it was sustainable. There was ve...
DORSEY FARR
My expectation is the general trend of the next few quarters is for profit growth rates to come down...
DORSEY FARR
That's not what we expected to see in a year when earnings growth would slow slightly, and we were s...
DORSEY FARR
We were prepared for a more difficult ride than we wound up with. An S&P 500 of 3 percent is not ter...
DORSEY FARR
One popular explanation is that there is a glut of capital in the world in search of a home, and a l...
DORSEY FARR
As a forecasting rule of thumb, the yield curve has been pretty good — but it may not be a good rul...
DORSEY FARR
If the targets continue to be specific industries such as financial firms and airlines, it's not cle...
DORSEY FARR
Ever since the train bombing in Spain [on March 11], there's been an expectation built into the mark...
DORSEY FARR
Stocks remain richly valued as a multiple of earnings. If earnings do not accurately represent the f...
DORSEY FARR
We've definitely been taught to what I call 'aspirate the wound,'
DIANE FARR
Boalsburg is a village, and the infrastructure is not in place to handle the increase in traffic.
DIANE FARR
Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonde...
JAMIE FARR
I did sketch comedy for years. I've always enjoyed it.
JAMIE FARR
If you want good sketches, go pick up Sid Caesar. The best of Your Show of Shows. That's the gre...
JAMIE FARR
Considering we had so many changes in the infield, to be doing this well is pleasing, but we still h...
DAVE FARR
If we play good defense, by the end of the year, we'll be a pretty good team.
DAVE FARR
It definitely helps. It will give us more time to work on things.
DAVE FARR
Considering we started four new faces, we played a pretty nice game. It was our first game and I tho...
DAVE FARR
We have great pitching depth. Our pitchers have gotten a lot of positive experiences. I wish we were...
DAVE FARR
We might have to do some of that a little more this year. We didn't really hit and run last year, ev...
DAVE FARR
Some people came up with story lines where Colonel Potter moves in with Klinger, and we become a 195...
JAMIE FARR
There's certain songs that you're gonna record that you hope to touch people and change live...
TYLER FARR
The trading update is very much in line with our expectations.
GERALD FARR
These results confirm our view of the current strength and improved underwriting discipline of the L...
GERALD FARR
We figured we'd still go ahead with the open house because it's still a great collection.
JAMES FARR
I'm so excited. It is going to be a wonderful opportunity for me.
KRISTA FARR
This is amazing. It's what we've all dreamed of and worked for.
KRISTA FARR
We just wanted to win. We're a Bonneville Team. It just comes down to if someone's on fire, give her...
KRISTA FARR
I think you're getting a bit of a safe haven -- stocks with earnings look good. If money is coming o...
MICHAEL FARR
You don't want confrontation - you want your boss to see you as an up-and-comer,
MICHAEL FARR
These are great core holdings. Intel has done particularly well and it is fully valued. If you don't...
MICHAEL FARR
The close ties between belief and behavior suggests that physicians are unlikely to reach agreement ...
DR. FARR CURLIN
We found no consensus among physicians about what is customary or appropriate. Despite efforts to st...
DR. FARR CURLIN
Our study challenges that conventional wisdom.
DR. FARR CURLIN
What this study does is beg some important questions.
DR. FARR CURLIN
The most obvious areas we want to examine are those in which there are overt moral controversies: se...
DR. FARR CURLIN
My heart only beats for you but you never listen it
SAM
You want to be happy? you should first learn how to let it go
SAM
Atoms consist of a positive nucleus and negative electrons flying around outside it. Electrons close...
SAM KEAN
Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom.
SAM WALTON
Because we're able to adjust for compatibility - and what that means is we've already normal...
SAM YAGAN
A leader is someone who helps improve the lives of other people or improve the system they live unde...
SAM HOUSTON
Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.
SAM KEEN
We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly...
SAM KEEN
It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he woul...
SAM LEVENSON
You'll never get mixed up if you simply tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember what...
SAM RAYBURN
The real actor has a direct line to the collective heart.
SAM RAYBURN
I like power and I like to use it.
SAM RAYBURN
Too many critics mistake the deliberations of the Congress for its decisions.
SAM RAYBURN
If you want to get along, go along.
SAM RAYBURN
When you get too big a majority, you're immediately in trouble.'
SAM RAYBURN
Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good action; try to use ordinary situations.
SAM RAYBURN
Son, always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time.
SAM RAYBURN
You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too.
SAM RAYBURN
I've always been interested in the camera and the effects of it - that's what drew me to fil...
SAM RAIMI
Any time anyone makes a comic book into a movie, in some way, I think they have to kill the comic bo...
SAM RAIMI
Some movies to me are like vampires - they suck all of the energy out of me and I don't like tha...
SAM RAIMI
R is for wussies if you're talking about blood and guts.
SAM RAIMI
I've always worked with a team of actors and filmmakers ever since I was a kid in Michigan makin...
SAM RAIMI
I think she said I should seek help. Something like that, but it was in much cruder terms. And that ...
SAM RAIMI
My father told me to dress to reflect the respect you have for the people around you. I've never...
SAM RAIMI
I've always heard people's criticisms twice as loudly as their praise.
SAM RAIMI
Well it's always been an element of the horror film to show us the gross out. I mean that's ...
SAM RAIMI
It's lovely being a producer. It's really a lot of fun and I can learn a lot.
SAM RAIMI
As I began making my feature films, it was a great adventure. It was about constructing something I ...
SAM RAIMI
I feel the horror audience is a great audience, and I would ideally make a movie that would give the...
SAM RAIMI
I don't like movies about serial killers, necessarily; it's too real and unpleasant for me.
SAM RAIMI
I don't like shows, I don't like to put on a show, I just really want to work intimately wit...
SAM RAIMI
I think in every picture that I've ever made. Everything that I've done torments me. I reall...
SAM RAIMI
I like a good mono track, it's right up front. I don't need all the surrounds telling me the...
SAM RAIMI
I don't really approach stories to make them different from other stuff I've seen, I just tr...
SAM RAIMI
I'm not certain, but I have a little gypsy blood in me. And my mother always told me that her gr...
SAM RAIMI
You know, I put my little brother in the movies and he's still in the pictures. My mother makes ...
SAM RAIMI
I realized what interested me as a student of film was one thing and the movies that I liked were an...
SAM RAIMI
Every picture has been a learning opportunity for me.
SAM RAIMI
That's what heroic stories do for us. They show us the way. They remind us of the good we are ca...
SAM RAIMI
If a remake is not good, no one wants to see it and, again, it doesn't hurt the original.
SAM RAIMI
I like something where I can really use my imagination and be an active participant in the construct...
SAM RAIMI
When we read stories of heroes, we identify with them. We take the journey with them. We see how the...
SAM RAIMI
I love cats. I've had cats as pets.
SAM RAIMI
The Price Is Right can really get me going.
SAM PECKINPAH
Yeah, Dundee was great. It was a great film. I fell in love with my Mexican wife on Dundee.
SAM PECKINPAH
Why should I give you an interview? All you journalists are plagiarists.
SAM PECKINPAH
Oh, I find it very easy to fall in love.
SAM PECKINPAH
The end of a picture is always an end of a life.
SAM PECKINPAH
Cornwall has lots of folk and Celtic music and has that kind of surfer vibe as well. That was my kin...
SAM PALLADIO
My family runs a little art gallery back in Cornwall, so flashy cars and things like that have never...
SAM PALLADIO
As a musician myself, it annoys the hell out of me to watch an actor trying to play a guitar out of ...
SAM PALLADIO
I am a self-taught guitarist. I just try to piece together passages that have some melodic value!
SAM PALLADIO
If you break up with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you're in this vulnerable state where you'...
SAM PALLADIO
Every actor wants more offers, but I get enough and I do like to be busy.
SAM NEILL
'Dexter' I'm very fond of. I got addicted to that.
SAM NEILL
I can never really remember what I look like. I'm just sort of neutral. I don't think I'...
SAM NEILL
I'm not big on Champagne, but I'd take along a bottle of Cristal to pop for when the boat co...
SAM NEILL
I go by the role pretty much. And I think the only genre I haven't gotten to do but I'd love...
SAM NEILL
As much as possible, I try to encourage people to use stunt men because that is really their job.
SAM NEILL
When I left university I was working for a documentary film company for six or seven years to the gr...
SAM NEILL
I understand acting and I understand actors. I don't really understand the world of celebrity. T...
SAM NEILL
If you want to learn about America, watch 'The Wire.' It's a profound piece of entertain...
SAM NEILL
I think you need brains to do any Shakespeare with any authority. I could do Shakespeare, but not wi...
SAM NEILL
When I started in films, it never really occurred to me that I could make a career out of acting.
SAM NEILL
Try and fit in in a New Zealand playground with an Armagh accent - it doesn't work.
SAM NEILL
People turn into fools when they see a movie star and do weird things.
SAM NEILL
I enjoy some physical stuff. But if I had a choice between playing a scene where it's raining, i...
SAM NEILL
I hate to say it, but there seems to have been some sort of dumbing down as far as movies go.
SAM NEILL
I've worked all my life to shed myself of any character.
SAM NEILL
I can tell you where I was when Kennedy was shot - which was in the common room at school. I heard a...
SAM NEILL
No intelligent man wears a moustache voluntarily - you can write that down.
SAM NEILL
Actors get pigeonholed very quickly, particularly movie actors. In the theater, one is more used to ...
SAM MENDES
It's a risk casting anyone against type or what they're known to do. But there's one thi...
SAM MENDES
For me, certain shots or scenes are keys in the movie.
SAM MENDES
One of the reasons I loved working with Tom is people feel they know who he is... I think working wi...
SAM MENDES
I've made movies that cost less than one car chase.
SAM MENDES
Now I'm back home, living in London, running my theater. I just want to enjoy all that.
SAM MENDES
Thank God I don't live in Los Angeles. I think if you're there the whole time it just gets o...
SAM MENDES
I think with Blair Witch and The Sixth Sense, people are much more open to something that is differe...
SAM MENDES
You think about taking audiences on a journey.
SAM MENDES
If you lived through the shooting of Jaws, you can live through anything.
SAM MENDES
I deliberately, in a way, went for something that was a huge challenge and was a big period film. I ...
SAM MENDES
One movie is only one movie. I want to have a lifetime of making films.
SAM MENDES
All I know is that I operate by going out to each of them and trying to learn the territory in which...
SAM MENDES
Shooting action is very, very meticulous, it's increments, tiny little pieces.
SAM MENDES
The movies that influenced me were movies that told their stories through pictures more than words.
SAM MENDES
You freeze with the number of opportunities given to you and just decide to do nothing at all.
SAM MENDES
I want to try and work in different genres with different types of actors, on small movies and big m...
SAM MENDES
There's good and bad in everybody. I wasn't looking for the good, or looking for the bad. Th...
SAM MENDES
The characters are trapped within the lifestyle. It's about what goes on before the movie starts...
SAM MENDES
You've got to work. You've got to want an audience to sit forward in their chairs sometimes,...
SAM MENDES
I'm certainly getting a lot more mail... that's basically it.
SAM MENDES
The perceived wisdom is that people do not go in large numbers to black-and-white movies anymore - w...
SAM MENDES
I don't think good and evil are polarized.
SAM MENDES
I think movies are a director's medium in the end. Theater is the actor's medium. Theater is...
SAM MENDES
It took me a long time to film the plastic bag, and then I had to get the cut of the scene right. Bu...
SAM MENDES
I want to inspire, and be inspired.
SAM MENDES
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.
SAM LEVENSON
I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
SAM LEVENSON
Our parents set the moral tone of the family. They expected more of some of us and less of others, b...
SAM LEVENSON
The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still an...
SAM LEVENSON
When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem ...
SAM LEVENSON
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
SAM LEVENSON
One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your im...
SAM LEVENSON
Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' c...
SAM LEVENSON
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
SAM LEVENSON
We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got t...
SAM LEVENSON
I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
SAM LEVENSON
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
SAM LEVENSON
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.
SAM LEVENSON
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her l...
SAM LEVENSON
You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all...
SAM LEVENSON
I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.
SAM KINISON
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you ...
SAM KINISON
I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to wo...
SAM KINISON
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
SAM KINISON
Everything can be satirized.
SAM KINISON
I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'...
SAM KINISON
I'm attracted to heartbreakers.
SAM KINISON
It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.
SAM KINISON
Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.
SAM KINISON
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
SAM KINISON
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.
SAM KINISON
AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.
SAM KINISON
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.
SAM KINISON
Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.
SAM KINISON
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
SAM KINISON
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up....
SAM KINISON
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water sl...
SAM KINISON
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
SAM KINISON
Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attit...
SAM KINISON
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn&...
SAM KINISON
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
SAM KINISON
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's no...
SAM KINISON
You can know what's in your life when you know what's in your heart.
SAM KEEN