If I had been present at creation, I would have given some useful hints.

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.