More Dorothy Parker

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it...
DOROTHY PARKER You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
DOROTHY PARKER I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER The friends I made have slipped and strayed.
And who's the one that cares
A trifling lot and...
DOROTHY PARKER Work is the province of cattle.
DOROTHY PARKER Once when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And ...
DOROTHY PARKER Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch is, and it darts a...
DOROTHY PARKER If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it'...
DOROTHY PARKER This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER Oh, it is sure as it is sad
That any lad is every lad,
And what's a girl, to dare implore DOROTHY PARKER I never see the prettiest thing -
A cherry bough gone white with Spring -
But what I think, Ho...
DOROTHY PARKER The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out ...
DOROTHY PARKER The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out o...
DOROTHY PARKER If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
DOROTHY PARKER Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
...
DOROTHY PARKER Oh seek, my love, your newer way;
I'll not be left in sorrow.
So long as I have yesterday DOROTHY PARKER If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I...
DOROTHY PARKER She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
DOROTHY PARKER If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER Inventory:

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend...
DOROTHY PARKER If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do the...
DOROTHY PARKER There's little in taking or giving
There's little in water or wine
This living, this livin...
DOROTHY PARKER Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
DOROTHY PARKER In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad<...
DOROTHY PARKER I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you; DOROTHY PARKER All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were a...
DOROTHY PARKER Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply...
DOROTHY PARKER Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a poi...
DOROTHY PARKER I never thought that heav'n would lose its blue
And sullen storm-clouds mask the gentle sky; DOROTHY PARKER All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't si...
DOROTHY PARKER I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER They sicken at the calm that know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER He'd have given me rolling lands,
Houses of marble, and billowing farms,
Pearls, to trickle ...
DOROTHY PARKER Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my ...
DOROTHY PARKER By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infi...
DOROTHY PARKER Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word
DOROTHY PARKER They laid their hands upon my head,
They stroked my cheek and brow;
And time could heal a hu...
DOROTHY PARKER Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
DOROTHY PARKER I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back ...
DOROTHY PARKER Gratitude -- the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
DOROTHY PARKER I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
DOROTHY PARKER Where's the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?
DOROTHY PARKER Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
DOROTHY PARKER Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the th...
DOROTHY PARKER I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four...
DOROTHY PARKER Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
DOROTHY PARKER Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (B...
DOROTHY PARKER It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
DOROTHY PARKER He Robert Benchley and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
DOROTHY PARKER And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned; The calmer, I, to see it tru...
DOROTHY PARKER Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground al...
DOROTHY PARKER Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
DOROTHY PARKER He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
DOROTHY PARKER Her mind lives tidily, apart From cold and noise and pain, And bolts the door against her heart, Out...
DOROTHY PARKER His voice was intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.
DOROTHY PARKER I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicul...
DOROTHY PARKER Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the cop...
DOROTHY PARKER Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour . . . the glamour of...
DOROTHY PARKER I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
DOROTHY PARKER This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
DOROTHY PARKER Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to u...
DOROTHY PARKER Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
DOROTHY PARKER Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
DOROTHY PARKER It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never ...
DOROTHY PARKER Misfortune tests friends, and detects enemies
DOROTHY PARKER Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
DOROTHY PARKER Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone
DOROTHY PARKER Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses...
DOROTHY PARKER I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things....
DOROTHY PARKER DOROTHY PARKER Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
DOROTHY PARKER I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think,...
DOROTHY PARKER Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cau...
DOROTHY PARKER The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out ...
DOROTHY PARKER The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.
DOROTHY PARKER The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories ...
DOROTHY PARKER My land is bare of chattering folk;
the clouds are low along the ridges,
and sweet's the air...
DOROTHY PARKER One more drink and I'll be under the host.
DOROTHY PARKER Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Concepti...
DOROTHY PARKER Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can n...
DOROTHY PARKER Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
DOROTHY PARKER I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme -
I never said they feed my heart, DOROTHY PARKER Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it wa...
DOROTHY PARKER Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
DOROTHY PARKER If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high ...
DOROTHY PARKER If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -...
DOROTHY PARKER I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
DOROTHY PARKER A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of t...
DOROTHY PARKER Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can...
DOROTHY PARKER Art is a form of catharsis.
DOROTHY PARKER I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
afte...
DOROTHY PARKER The two most beautiful words in the English language are: Check Enclosed.
DOROTHY PARKER If, with the literate, I am/ Impelled to try an epigram,/ I never seek to take the credit;/ We all a...
DOROTHY PARKER Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.
DOROTHY PARKER Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
DOROTHY PARKER I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
DOROTHY PARKER This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."
DOROTHY PARKER Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.
DOROTHY PARKER Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
DOROTHY PARKER This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER He has a capacity for enjoyment so vast that he gives away great chunks to those about him, and neve...
DOROTHY PARKER This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
DOROTHY PARKER Woman wants monogamy; / Man delights in novelty. / Love is woman's moon and sun; / Man has other for...
DOROTHY PARKER I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
DOROTHY PARKER The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
DOROTHY PARKER If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be ...
DOROTHY PARKER Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER I am never going to be famous...I do not do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails,...
DOROTHY PARKER Excuse my dust
DOROTHY PARKER Check enclosed.
DOROTHY PARKER Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
DOROTHY PARKER I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know...
DOROTHY PARKER There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never g...
DOROTHY PARKER Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER "The House Beautiful" is the play lousy
DOROTHY PARKER I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I...
DOROTHY PARKER And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back ...
DOROTHY PARKER Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and ...
DOROTHY PARKER They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER I don't know," she said. "We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and...
DOROTHY PARKER As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
DOROTHY PARKER We're glad to have been taken seriously. What we're looking for is that if we walk into a Pick 'n Sa...
DOROTHY PARKER We wanted corporate to know we expected better.
DOROTHY PARKER . . . as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a penci...
DOROTHY PARKER And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the r...
DOROTHY PARKER [We look like] a road company of the Last Supper.
DOROTHY PARKER If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised
DOROTHY PARKER I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it wou...
DOROTHY PARKER She (Katherine Hepburn) runs the gamut of emotions from A to B
DOROTHY PARKER Every love's the love before in a duller dress
DOROTHY PARKER This living, this living, this living/ Was never a project of mine.
DOROTHY PARKER The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER I want people to learn something they didn't know, ... We hope people have fun and learn about our c...
DOROTHY PARKER This is on me.
DOROTHY PARKER That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say "No" in any of them
DOROTHY PARKER Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts a...
DOROTHY PARKER Some men break your heart in two,/ Some men fawn and flatter,/ Some men never look at you;/ And that...
DOROTHY PARKER I can't write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope th...
DOROTHY PARKER Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
DOROTHY PARKER Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much
DOROTHY PARKER You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow.
DOROTHY PARKER Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarras...
DOROTHY PARKER Somebody was using the pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it ...
DOROTHY PARKER A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially,...
DOROTHY PARKER I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be a darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER Byron and Shelley and Keats/ Were a trio of lyrical treats.
DOROTHY PARKER That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER "Cheque enclosed" are the two most beautiful words in the English language
DOROTHY PARKER She looks as new as a peeled egg
DOROTHY PARKER She looks like something that would eat its young
DOROTHY PARKER I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate C...
DOROTHY PARKER By the time you swear you are his, shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite and un...
DOROTHY PARKER Too fucking busy, and vice versa. [Reply to her editor who was bugging her for her belated work whil...
DOROTHY PARKER They sicken of the calm, who know the storm
DOROTHY PARKER People are more fun than any body
DOROTHY PARKER I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule...
DOROTHY PARKER I suppose that now if I ever wrote a play about myself I'd be sued for plagiarism
DOROTHY PARKER There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simp...
DOROTHY PARKER Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
DOROTHY PARKER Lips that taste of tears, they say/ Are the best for kissing.
DOROTHY PARKER I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table...
DOROTHY PARKER My land is bare of chattering folk; / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air wit...
DOROTHY PARKER The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!
DOROTHY PARKER This is on me. [suggested for her tombstone]
DOROTHY PARKER Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to exci...
DOROTHY PARKER Money is only congealed snow.
DOROTHY PARKER Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I...
DOROTHY PARKER

I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

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Dorothy Parker

I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

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