I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father's lifestyle.

Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.

The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.

Ryan is my bridge to the past, to memories that lose some of their sting when he recounts them.

Ryan finally came to my rescue. He'd thought working together in Paper Moon would help us bond.

Paper Moon didn't bring me love.