I was not a pretty child. I developed humor to be accepted.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone clapping and going, 'Joan, wake up, it's all over and you're looking pretty'.

I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

Show business is - you're there by somebody's fluke. And as long as somebody likes you, and the show is going well, you're fine. I'd do anything. There's so much I want to do.

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.