I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.

If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.