I have experienced bad dating and ineptitude with women all across the globe, from Vietnam to Paris. When I was 21, women were an enigma; they were this code that had to be cracked. They were 'The Other.' I have often thought writing this stuff into stand-up and shows would be an exorcism, but it hasn't been; it makes no difference.


Stephen Merchant

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The first Bond movie I saw at cinemas was 'For Your Eyes Only' when I was almost 10. I got i...
STEPHEN COLE
Powerful men in particular suffer from the delusion that human beings have no memories. I would go s...
STEPHEN VIZINCZEY
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
STEPHEN LEACOCK
As you sit on the hillside, or lie prone under the trees of the forest, or sprawl wet-legged by a mo...
STEPHEN GRAHAM
Basketball is booming, and it's not just an Under Armour standpoint: it's about the game its...
STEPHEN CURRY
If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot...re...
STEPHEN KING
I'm a Jewish born-again Christian.
STEPHEN BALDWIN
The bottom line is, when people are crystal clear about the most important priorities of the organiz...
STEPHEN COVEY
Because, let's face it, I do not get offered the parts that Brad Pitt has just turned down.
STEPHEN FRY
And when there are enough outsiders together in one place, a mystic osmosis takes place and you're i...
STEPHEN KING
Nobody likes to see a stupid guy wise up.
STEPHEN KING
Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.
STEPHEN SWID
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
STEPHEN LEACOCK
He was a clot looking for a place to happen, a splinter of bone hunting a soft organ to puncture, a ...
STEPHEN KING
Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is ...
STEPHEN HAWKING
After the 9/11 apocalypse happened in New York City, people, particularly New Yorkers, who breathed ...
STEPHEN KING
The role played by time at the beginning of the universe is, I believe, the final key to removing th...
STEPHEN HAWKING
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and wha...
STEPHEN LEVINE
Go to the truth beyond the mind. Love is the bridge.
STEPHEN LEVINE
(on love) It's the only thing which allows men and women to stand in a world where gravity always se...
STEPHEN KING
But if one could go back in time, I'd love to have been directed by Howard Hawks, who's one ...
STEPHEN FRY
People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them that I have the...
STEPHEN KING
Like all wage slaves, he had two crosses to bear: the people he worked for and the people he worked ...
STEPHEN VIZINCZEY
The concerts you enjoy together neighbors you annoy together children you destroy together that make...
STEPHEN SONDHEIM
Every nation, like every individual, would like to believe it owes 'no apology' to anyone. A...
STEPHEN KINZER
Music is like a conversation. One person says one thing that speaks with a harmonica, with a bass, w...
STEPHEN MARLEY
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
STEPHEN FRY
After World War II, the winds of nationalism and anti-colonialism blew through the developing world.
STEPHEN KINZER
Your mind is the channel of it all. It feeds your soul, your heart, everything. It comes from your t...
STEPHEN MARLEY
If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.
STEPHEN CLARKE
There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the num...
STEPHEN FRY
That word is 'willing.' It's an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversa...
STEPHEN KENDRICK
When a man has died, he wants you to know about it.
STEPHEN KING
His was the face you could never quite see, his the hands which dealt all the spades from a dead dec...
STEPHEN KING
God has editing rights over our prayers. He will... edit them, correct them, bring them in line with...
STEPHEN CROTTS
I think of those who were truly great. The names of those who in their lives fought for life, Who wo...
STEPHEN SPENDER
After the day there cometh the derke night; For though the day be never so longe, At last the ...
STEPHEN HAWES
The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them
STEPHEN KING
When you get just a complete sense of blackness or void ahead of you, that somehow the future looks ...
STEPHEN FRY
You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of ...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right.
STEPHEN RICHARDS
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade! Words to live by, especially when you kept in mind t...
STEPHEN KING
We accept the love we think we deserve.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
It was the kind of kiss that made
me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with som...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY