I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

It's a very sad day. I've always admired him. Everything he did had a very evocative ring, of something great.

The ideal women are female chess players: they can remain silent for hours, keep well their figures and know many interesting positions.

All these old guys, they were exactly the same on stage as off, and they couldn't help being comedians.

No, wait, here's a good bit.

There's no family allowance on the first child, you know.