Every time I told them a true bit, it got a bigger reaction than any of the jokes I had written,

It's a really complicated lesson; it's counterintuitive for a comedian. I basically started taking the jokes out, and the show got funnier.

[Dave Barry, who wrote jokes for Martin's Oscar-hosting gig two years ago, mentioned that he performed his Academy Awards monologue with his fly open.] And, ... I think it says something about Steve as a performer, and as a man, that no one noticed.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

I don't know about you, but the first thing I do when I'm supposed to write something, ... is to do everything else. If my house is tidy, it generally means I should be writing--and I'm not. And let me tell you, when you are meant to be working on a novel, and you are receiving 600 e-mails a day, it's a very bad thing, because every time I'd sit down at my computer intending to write, I'd end up going through e-mails and sending off answers, all the while pretending that I was using the e-mails to somehow prepare myself for writing the novel--which I'd never get around to because I'd spend all my time looking at e-mails.

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