Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

I'm not bored of being quarantined, last night I even struck up a conversation with a spider. Turns out he's a web designer.