Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.

I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.

As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

I sometimes forget that 'Math' stands for Mathematics. Probably because Math isn't English.