Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.

There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

Thomas was an annoying wiseass who tended to make everyone he met want to kill him, and when I have that much in common with someone, I can't help but like him a little.

You don't have to make fun of it."

"Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything.

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.