A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.