You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.

Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

You can do what you want. But I can also do what I want. And what I’ll be doing is telling everyone how fucking stupid your tattoo is.

You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.

On Being Afraid to Use the Elementary School Bathrooms to Defecate

“Son, you're complaining to the wrong man. I can shit anywhere, at any time. It's one of my finer qualities. Some might say my finest.