FastSaying
You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.
Justin Halpern
Related Quotes
You can do what you want. But I can also do what I want. And what I’ll be doing is telling everyone how fucking stupid your tattoo is.
— Justin Halpern
On Being Afraid to Use the Elementary School Bathrooms to Defecate
“Son, you're complaining to the wrong man. I can shit anywhere, at any time. It's one of my finer qualities. Some might say my finest.
— Justin Halpern
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The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.
— Justin Halpern
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If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.
— Justin Halpern
You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.
— Justin Halpern
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