You don't mock the importance of the event. This isn't the MTV Music Video Awards. We expect the Oscar host to be like a beloved aunt or uncle on stage playing the ringmaster to a family reunion.

It has the most nominations, and it won all the early awards. It's a big screen epic with A-list stars.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?

[So when you're watching the Video Music Awards on August 28, don't be surprised if a few of the winners give a shout-out to the blue-eyed, weather-worn actor buried deep somewhere in the audience. And don't be surprised either if a knowing smile forms in the corners of your parents' mouths as they catch a glimpse of the screen.] It's always nice to have your name mentioned at awards ceremonies, ... I would love that, [but] I don't expect that. I was just a hired hand who had a good time.

It's nice to get awards but the only awards I want are titles. They probably voted for me because I give them a story.

THE 2005 WORLD MUSIC AWARDS