You don't get ulcers from what you eat. You get them from what's eating you.

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them.

I don't have ulcers; I give them.

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings.

The deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman is pity.

What I like about Hollywood is that one can get along by knowing two words of English -- SWELL and LOUSY.