You can want me to do my job. Just don't expect me to.

It's not that I'm lazy. I'm just prone to not working. At all. Ever.

The irony of it all is that, while most people don't want to die, generally, those same people want to go to heaven.

When you look back on this moment months from now, don't forget the one word I'm about to say to you, Claire Deveraux. Foreplay.

When pointing out the flaws in others, people always end up talking about themselves.

The world is filled with a bunch of cheaters and bad referees: Life isn't fair but almost nobody ever points it out.