You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!".

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

You can lead a bureaucrat to water, but you can't make him think.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.