A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!".

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.